To reach the heights of hypocrisy is harder than you think, there are so many hypocrites around it is hard to compete, but don’t give up yet, you can be hypocritical without even realising it, without even being able to spell it.
Did you sign that petition to save orangutans, without even knowing how to spell orangatangs? Good, but when you went shopping for your peanut butter you picked the one with palm oil in. At least you bought a compassionate mouse trap at the hardware shop, remembered to check it when you got up and tip toed into the garden in your dressing gown to release the dear little mouse through the fence into next door. Then you had a cooked breakfast; so a mouse’s life is worth more than a pig’s?
You signed the petition against using fossil fuels, but had a lovely day out on a heritage steam railway. Pondering on trains made you decide to sell your car, but luckily your partner also owns a car as you were very grateful when they drove you to the emergency weekend dentist when you had that abscess.
However, you are feeling extra virtuous because you were part of the Extinction Rebellion protest and your picture appeared on Facebook, with at least two friends recognising you. Of course you had not actually intended to sit on Waterloo Bridge with the protesters, but were trying to make your way home after visiting your grandmother in Saint Thomas’ Hospital; as the buses could not run across the bridge it was easier to walk across and catch a different bus. Then Isabella from work spotted you and enveloped you in flowers and kisses and introduced you to all her green friends and somehow you couldn’t get away…
If you haven’t already had a go at playing the Gaia game – Snakes and Stairs, why not try it?