I first heard it on the radio, I wasn’t listening properly, I’m so bored with the news, but when I heard blogging, bloggers, scams, algorithms, WordPress, computers, victims, personas… I paid close attention.
We know all about other people being scammed on line, paying out money, falling in love with a person who does not exist… losing all your money on a business scam. Of course it couldn’t happen to me or my fellow bloggers, we’re far too intelligent for that; we know some bloggers are not what they say they are, but we just ignore them and certainly don’t follow them.
I was just about to write today’s blog when there was a knock at the door, a man and a woman stood on the doorstep holding out their ID. Her Majesty’s Cybercrime Home Security Force. I was amused, they wanted to interview little me, well that would make a good topic for my blog. They took it in turns to ask questions.
‘Do you possess a computer, do you use the internet… ‘ until finally we got to the crux of the matter ‘would you call yourself a blogger?’
‘Of course, I don’t call myself a blogger, I am a Blogger, Scribbletide and it’s not against the law, so why am I being subjected to this interrogation.’
‘We’re sorry to have to tell you Miss, Mrs… er Ms Scribbletide, but you have been scammed; the bloggers you associate with are not real.’
‘That’s okay, I know some are not, no problem, no harm to me.’
‘None of them are real, it’s a huge scam affecting national and international security and mental health.’
‘Is this a joke, are you filming me for that television programme?’
‘Please listen carefully, we are obliged to take you in for debriefing and health checks.’
‘Don’t be ridiculous I’m fine and I am not going anywhere.’
‘We know this must come as a great shock, none of the three thousand bloggers you follow are real; all set up by computer programmers as an experiment; there is no such thing as WordPress.’
‘I don’t understand, you mean all those Jills, Sues, Carols and Petes, Jims and Mikes are not real?’
‘Precisely and if it’s any comfort, you are alone…’
Aha! I’ve often suspected…
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So how do I know if you’re real, then? 🤔
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You don’t Clive, even I don’t know if I’m real!
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Some days I have the same concern about myself 😉
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Oh Janet, this is so funny.
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Thanks Robbie, glad you enjoyed it.
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Ha ha!
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Oh no 😱 haha, great post. KL ❤️
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I know I am unreal.
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So that woman who agreed to marry me is not real? Do I have to return the new car or the air fare then? Great story.
Huge Hugs
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No David, alas she’s not real…
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Well, this is disconcerting . . . 😀
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Uh-oh–busted!
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I should have suspected; who in their right mind would follow my blog?
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I think there is no WordPress is better than many conspiracy theories I’ve heard lately.
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Yes Pete, and the frightening thing is, it’s true…
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It’s The Matrix, Janet. We are all in it, and nothing exists except in our imagination.
(This message will self-destruct in 30 seconds.)
Best wishes, Pete..
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Glad you managed to comment, Pete, before we self destructed…
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Ha ha Ha! I fell for it hook, line and sinker. Brilliantly done!
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Thanks Q.
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Great last line, Janet. Now all your visitors need to tell you is precisely what the ‘experiment’ is designed to test and/or prove. I suspect that ‘Her Majesty’s Cybercrime Home Security Force’ is a scam and that what they refer to as de-briefing involves more than just a strip search. 🙂 For evidence, look no further than the testimony of my enemies who will testify that, unfortunately, I at least do exist. 😉
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Thanks Doug, first person to discover the truth… or is it?
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Nicely done. 🙂
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There is no such thing as wordpress? Well then I don’t need to worry about writing regularly lol
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That’s right Vandana, have a rest from writing.
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