SILLY SATURDAY – NEWSLESS

Featuring unnewsworthy items that could be happening near you, but probably aren’t.

When banana loving visitors could not come, the obvious thing to do was put them on the local recycling Facebook page. They were snapped up immediately.

Wanted for criminal damage. A flurry of terror and excitement as rogue dog fox digs up lawns. Neighbours have been patching up lawns and fences in a bid to save their grass. Night cameras have been installed to prove his guilt.

…while indoors, home owners fear The Elf has returned.

A supermarket closed its vegetable section for several hours yesterday after a staff member spotted a worrying headline as he read the newspaper during his break. As workers hurriedly cleared shelves he tried to explain that the headline actually said ‘Tornadoes Leave Two Dead’ not ‘Tomatoes Leave Two Dead.’ The manger later explained that once a food contamination alert has been raised the action must be completed and suspect foods cannot be sold until tests have given the all clear.

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