Sacrilege

Grace looks back at her best ever holiday to a country everyone regards as special, but reminds us how easy it is to let hate flourish.

Grace Lessageing's avatarAnecdotage

NZ Queenstown

We travelled to New Zealand in the autumn of 2011 when the Rugby World Cup was scheduled to be held there. This was to be our retirement treat-a three month stonker of a trip that also encompassed Australia [where I have cousins] and a small add-on of a stay in Hong Kong on the way home.

The thrill of such an enormous piece of travel was tempered, initially by having our flight from Heathrow cancelled by Quantas for no reason we could discern. This meant that our onward flights from Brisbane were scuppered, messing up our arrival to Christchurch, New Zealand and losing us a night of accommodation.

2011 was also the year of Christchurch’s catastrophic earthquake, which was heartbreaking in itself, besides disrupting the Rugby matches and venues involved.

After a tortuous and exhausting series of flights we arrived to Christchurch’s small airport. In the arrivals hall we staggered…

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Silly Saturday – How to Cheat at Best Sellers

sunshine-blogger

If there is anything better than writing a best seller, it is writing a best selling series and a best selling series in a popular genre is sure to be a winner. The way to fame is for your series to be adapted for television, so that everyone knows you have written lots of best selling books, even if they haven’t read them.

Fame may come at a price, murder. Crime thrillers are always popular with the public and that’s not hard to understand; we all like to participate in the thrills without actually being killed ourselves. We all like to guess who did it from the comfort of the sofa without having to pound dark alleyways or lonely moors.

You only need three things for your fabulous fiction.

One or more dead bodies.

One or more detectives.

An interesting setting.

Optional extras are a few interesting characters who insist on getting involved in the investigation.

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I love a good crime thriller and some knitting after dinner, we all need a break from writing and computers. At Cheztidalscribe sub titles are our favourites; everything from gritty Paris to dark brooding Wales, from sunny Sicily to bracing Iceland. At present we are watching Trapped, set in a small town in Iceland; the fact that this fascinating country only has three hundred thousand people does not hold them back from having plenty of murders.

Much as I love hearing different languages and seeing a change of scenery, not speaking the language and never having visited are good reasons not to try and write novels set in another country. But there is still plenty of scope for new crime thrillers set in the British Isles. Popular novels can be set in ancient university towns; Morse in Oxford, Granchester in Cambridge. Then there are gritty cities such as Rebus in Edinburgh. Equally popular are quiet villages with an unbelievably high rate of crime, Midsomer Murders or islands such as Shetland where bodies appear at an alarming rate for Jimmy Perez to deal with.

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So let’s choose a place with beautiful scenery and scattered remote houses which the police can never get to in time. A detective who must be divorced or widowed and a local population who don’t trust him, because he is an outsider. His only friends are a simmering love interest with a fisherman’s wife and the local vet, doctor or vicar who helps solve every case. The detective inspector can be of either sex, but their constable or sergeant will always be of the opposite sex.

I am going to set my series on the beautiful Scottish Inner Hebrides island of Iona, I have only been there once, for a few hours, but that won’t deter me. There are only about 120 permanent residents and it is only three miles long, but that needn’t prevent them having a serial killer; with lots of tourists coming over on the little Caledonian MacBrain ferry who knows what could happen and as visitors’ vehicles are banned this gives the police a head start on chasing them.

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When television producers adapt your thrilling best seller there may be some compromise. Your stocky dark brooding hero is replaced by a well known tall blond actor and they film most of it on the mainland because it’s cheaper. The programmes are so popular you have to write more novels at a frantic pace, if not you will find your intelligent stories replaced by increasingly ridiculous plots and your name will appear only at the end of the credits – based on the characters created by…

But the good news is your book will now appear at the front of the book store with the covers your friend designed with his holiday photos replaced by dramatic pictures of the television star on location.

Good luck.

 

Sunshine Blogger Award 4

Popsicle Society was one of the bloggers I nominated for the Sunshine Blogger Award. Enjoy reading her answers and find out more.

popsiclesociety's avatarPopsicle Society

I’m very grateful to Janet from Times and Tides of a Beachwriter for this Sunshine Blogger Award. Thank you Janet 😊

I have discovered Janet recently and I’m glad I did it. If you don’t know her yet, she has four novels and four collections of short fiction published on Amazing Kindle, go visit her blog now and you won’t be disappointed.

The Rules

Thank the blogger who nominated you in a blog post and make a link back to their blog.

Answer the 11 questions sent to you by the person who nominated you.

Nominate up to 11 new blogs to receive the award, and then write them 11 new questions – or cheat and use the same questions 🙂

List the rules and display the Sunshine Blogger Award logo in your post and/or your blog.

Janet’s questions

1.Tell us three things about the place and country where you live…

View original post 404 more words

Flash Fiction Friday – 963 – Stolen Identity

sunshine-blogger

Amelia DeVere was dreading her birthday; Brian and the girls were coming round with her present, a lap top. They had given her several other choices; a clever phone, an eye mask, a lozenge or was it a capsule? She had plumped for the lap top, at least she wouldn’t be expected to put it in her handbag and use it. She was quite happy with her mobile phone that didn’t take pictures, buttons 1, 2 and 3 were programmed for the local mini cab firm, Jenny next door and Brian.

But Amelia had not realised the full implications of her choice until it was too late.

You’ll be able to Facetime Aunty Phoebe in Canada and see pictures of the new baby on Facebook.

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‘I just want to do e-mails’ said Amelia, on the offensive as she answered the door on her birthday morning.

‘Of course, we need to do that first. But just think Gran, you would have been the first to know Constanza was expecting, instead of the last.’

Just as Brian’s marriage was breaking up, her younger son Roger had got his act together and met someone. It didn’t appear they were going to get married, but now she was pregnant they had reluctantly left the Orangutan sanctuary and returned to Constanza’s hometown, Melbourne.

She was soon sending Roger an e-mail, AmDev@gmail.com

‘Can we have lunch now?’ she pleaded.

‘In a mo Gran, let’s just look at Facebook and make sure there are no other Amelia DeVeres… oh look, there are…

Are you this Amelia DeVere?

They all laughed at the young woman with spiky rose pink and sky blue hair, but then Amelia felt rather miffed at seeing a member of the family she didn’t know.

‘That’s probably not her real name Mum,’ said Brian ‘look, she’s an author, got her own author page.’

‘Can we look at it?’

‘No, you have to be her friend.’

‘I don’t need to be her friend if I’m a relative.’

The screen was flashing, artificial fingernails were skimming across the keyboard.

‘Here’s her Amazon page,’ said her granddaughter ‘…author of fruity romances Strawberries in Surmmer, Peaches for Pandora, hundreds of reviews… The book every twentysomething must take on holiday, published in paperback and on Amazon Kindle.’

‘Let’s read a preview’ urged her sister.

Amelia had to admit she was quite impressed that they could turn the pages of a pretend book. ‘Let me read, I’m getting used to this lap top… Pandora ran her slender manicured fingers through the dark hairs on Mickael’s chest, then across his firm tanned stomach, bringing to life his…’ she peered closer with her bi-focals at the small print ‘bringing to life his what?’

‘I don’t think that’s your sort of book Mother’ said Brian, hastily moving his large hands across the keyboard.

Images flashed across the screen, more frantic tapping by the girls.

‘Look Gran, Uncle Roger’s accepted you as a friend, they must still be up, probably midnight there.’

Suddenly the bemused grandmother was confronted with a black and white picture of an alien, but her granddaughters screamed with delight.

‘It’s a boy, you’re going to have your first grandson.’

‘They can’t have had the baby already.’

‘No, they’ve just had the scan to tell the sex; four hours ago 23 comments and 40 likes already, you can make a comment.’

‘That’s revolting, looks like one of their Orangutans.’

‘We all looked like that once, in the womb, I can’t believe how ultrasound has improved since we had the girls,’ said her son ‘but I don’t think I would put it on Facebook.’

The girls giggled ‘We can’t put what Gran said, how about Wonderful news, do u want to Facetime tomorrow?’

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Over lunch the girls discussed Constanza and why there were no pictures of her on Facebook and would Dad pay for them to visit their new cousin, but Amelia returned to the subject of the other Amelia.

‘Of course I would know if she was a real DeVere, can I complain if she’s an impostor?’

‘Let’s Google and see what else we can find out.’

‘Yes, never mind the dishes, let’s get back on the lap top’ she said.

She was surprised to see her own DeVeres mentioned, but it was Amelia the novelist who had page after page of blue writing devoted to her, image after image came up as they visited websites. The young woman was everywhere, The Word Hut, Writers’ Room, Romantic Novelists Association, Twitter, she even had her own Blog.

‘Why does she think we want to know how the romantic holiday with her gorgeous man went?’ puzzled Amelia.

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But after the family had left she felt compelled to switch the lap top on and practice her new skills. She couldn’t resist Googling Amelia. The writer was planning to attend literary festivals and book signings, perhaps it would be possible to see her in the flesh…

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A few days later the grandmother’s notebook was full, she was pretty certain she had looked up every internet mention of Amelia and written it down, she had also read the openings of all her books. She wasn’t even very good at writing, the older woman wondered how she had become so famous.

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A week later the door bell rang; Amelia DeVere was very surprised when a plain clothes policeman introduced himself. He was equally surprised to find she lived alone.

‘D.I. Benson, C.C.U. Cyber Crime Unit. We’re investigating the stalking of a young woman, she has been trolled on Twitter, someone’s hacked into her e-mails, various other online abuses… I can’t go into details. We noticed that the most on line activity connected to her internet presence was coming from this locality, we may need to take your computer away to be examined.’

 

Read more short stories in my four collections;

from 99 pence.

 

 

Where Are We?

Are you sure you know where you are? I could say I live in Wessex, but Wessex has not existed for a thousand years. It was an Anglo-Saxon kingdom in the south of Great Britain, from 519 until England was unified by Æthelstan in the early 10th century. But Wessex must exist because Thomas Hardy set his novels there… No, he used it as the name of the county in which his stories are set; corresponding approximately to Dorset, Somerset, Hampshire and Wiltshire.

But Wessex must exist because there is an Earl of Wessex.  Don’t worry if you get confused with all the titles the Queen has bestowed on her children and grandchildren, most of us do. In 1999, Queen Elizabeth II’s youngest son, Prince Edward, married Sophie Rhys-Jones. By tradition the monarch’s son receives a title upon marriage. Prince Edward became the first British prince in centuries to be created an earl, rather than a duke. His wife Sophie became The Countess of Wessex.

Many organisations, including the army, that cover the area of Dorset, Somerset, Hampshire and Wiltshire use the name Wessex .

The ITV television series Broadchurch takes place in the Wessex area, primarily the county of Dorset. It features government agencies such as Wessex Police and Wessex Crown Court, and several characters are seen attending South Wessex Secondary School.

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I live in Bournemouth which is in Dorset… or is it?  Before it was founded in 1810 by Lewis Tregonwell, the area was a deserted heathland occasionally visited by fishermen and smugglers. Historically part of Hampshire, it joined Dorset with the reorganisation of local government in 1974, but it has always seemed to me to have little in common with real rural Dorset. Since 1997 the town has been administered by Bournemouth Borough Council. But wait, more changes are afoot Bournemouth, Christchurch and Poole Council will be the unitary local authority for the district of Bournemouth, Christchurch and Poole that is to come into being on 1 April 2019. The three towns already form the South East Dorset urban connurbation. What will it mean for the locals? Most of us are expecting to pay more in rates and have more services cut. Bournemouth is a new town set between two historic towns with plenty of pirates. Poole has the second largest natural harbour in the world, Sydney, Australia has the largest. Our sea is Pool Bay. Christchurch lies round the corner separated by Hengistbury Head; in Bronze Age Britain this was an important seaport, there was a settlement here in the Iron Age. I wonder how they viewed their identity?

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But let’s zoom in. I live in Southbourne, the creation of Doctor Thomas Armetriding Compton, who set up general practice in Bournemouth in 1866 and could see the area’s potential as a health resort. The clifftop land here had been part of Tuckton Farm, purchased by Compton in 1871 and later developed by the Southbourne-on-Sea Freehold Land Company.

Local businesses consider they are in Southbourne-on-Sea, Southbourne Grove, thriving with interesting shops and eateries, has been nicknamed the Sobo Mile.

You can see plenty of my local area at my website.

https://www.ccsidewriter.co.uk/chapter-two-coastal-views/

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Now let us zoom out. I have never considered I come from anywhere in particular, having lived in lots of places. I was born in Middlesex, but it ceased to exist as a county in 1965. It stretched to Westminster many centuries ago, but London had finally swallowed it.

Our local borough may be getting bigger, but our horizons will narrow as Britain leaves the European Union, dark days for those of us who are Remainers. We shall all still be members of The Commonwealth and the English speaking world and The World, The Solar System and the Universe… as we used to write in our exercise books at school…

Do you know where you are, do you care where you are?

 

Silly Saturday – How to Cheat at Quizzes

There have always been quizzes on television and radio, plenty for every taste; some requiring no knowledge or intelligence at all, while others cater for super brained polymaths. I like the ones that just get on with asking the questions. I wouldn’t dream of actually going on one myself; I don’t like having my photograph taken, let alone appearing on television. Radio would be fine, but there would still be the embarrassment of brain freeze; my mind goes blank, even in my own living room.

The quiz cheat needs only pen and paper; mark a column for each person in the room. Whatever the quiz, the person who answers first gets one point. We chanced upon Mastermind one evening and one contestant, a teacher, did not get any questions right in the general knowledge. Very embarrassing, we wondered if his pupils were watching, but without the annoying interference of the contestant answering first I scored quite a few points.

On University Challenge, never mind if each question gets ten points and five deducted for a wrong answer, you get just one point. The teams will be in the hundreds while my score will be 9 if I’m lucky or more likely 1 as happened this week. It is no use saying

I knew that, it was on the tip of my tongue.  Or

Mozart, I told you… I just got the name of the opera wrong

I was going to say that..

If you have forgotten what was the beginning of the question by the time Jeremy Paxmen gets to the end, you could just give up, but why not try looking intelligent as he briskly recites

Take the numbers in the periodic table of all the elements on the planet Mars, add them together and multiply by the Fibonacci Sequence

While the teams are busy consulting each other, move your lips and frown. When the answer comes up throw your hands up in despair and claim you nearly got it.

The best way to cheat though is if you are on your own. Even if your brain can’t retrieve the name or your mouth can’t say Leonardo Da Vinci, you know it was  that chap who did Mona Lisa and the painting is in that place in Paris with the glass pyramid… give yourself a point.

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If you listen to a radio quiz you can cook or wash the floor at the same time, yelling out the answers. Counterpoint is a good quiz on all kinds of music; give yourself a point if you recognise the piece or song, can remember where you heard it, but have no idea who the composer or singer is. The best fun is when none of the three contestants can think of the answer, or get it wrong; then you can jeer at them…

Vivaldi, how could you possibly think it was Vivaldi or

Surely everyone knows that is the Beach Boys

Have you ever been on a quiz show? How did you get on?

SUNSHINE Blogger Award #2

Kevin is first off the starting block of the bloggers I nominated for the Sunshine Blogger Award. Read his answers to my eleven questions.

What Words May Come's avatarKevin Parish

sunshine blogger award

Thank you so much, Janet, for nominating me for this award. Please see Janet’s works here. She is a gifted and published novelist who has been writing “furiously” for over a decade.

The Rules…

Thank the blogger who nominated you in a blog post and make a link back to their blog.

Answer the 11 questions sent to you by the person who nominated you.

🙂

Nominate up to 11 new blogs to receive the award, and then write them 11 new questions – or cheat and use the same questions.

List the rules and display the Sunshine Blogger Award logo in your post and/or your blog.

Janet’s Questions

1.Tell us three things about the place and country where you live now.

I live in West Lafayette, Indaian, USA. Purdue University is here and has produced more astronauts than any other university. They are are top Engineering school and this…

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Friday Flash Fiction – 345 – Little Weed

LITTLE WEED, THE LONG YEARS OF ABUSE

The old gardener’s hands trembled as he picked up the newspaper from the door mat. He slipped out to his potting shed as he heard Mrs. Gardener coming down the stairs.

He laid the paper on the old bench, sunlight barely filtered through the cobwebbed windows, but it was enough to read the main article.

Detectives from Operation Motherwatch are investigating claims that Little Weed was abused for years by one or more flowerpot men. The identity of the flowerpot men is not known, but they have been named locally as Bill and Ben.

The shock allegations follow on from last week’s claims that Looby Loo was abused by both Andy Pandy and Teddy. If Little Weed’s claims are true it will be the first time a plant has made such a serious allegation.

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The gardener had never believed people who said they did not know what was going on, now he had to come to terms with the fact that he knew nothing about what was going on at the bottom of his own garden. But surely Bill and Ben were innocent, perhaps it was some other flowerpot men… Little Weed could be vindictive, she was not the shrinking violet people thought. If only he knew where she was now. It was all Alan Titchmarsh’s fault. The Gardener had come back from recording Gardeners’ Question Time to discover his wife had arranged a makeover; only the potting shed remained. Gone were the greenhouse, vegetable beds, earthenware pots; all replaced by decking. And gone too was Little Weed. Mrs. Gardener was always jealous of the plant, said he talked to her more than his own wife… perhaps that was true… she was no ordinary weed, the first weed to appear on BBC Television and there had been none like her since… She was tough, a survivor, he was thankful she was still alive, but why now, why such allegations now, after all this time? And if it was true, was it Bill or was it Ben?

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Sunshine Blogger – 2

sunshine blogger award

Carol at Blog: https://carolcooks2.com/ has kindly nominated me for Sunshine blogger Award.

Visit Carol’s blog for plenty of sunshine, good food, healthy living and fun.

The Rules….Well, there are always rules are there not?

Thank the blogger who nominated you in a blog post and make a link back to their blog.

Answer the 11 questions sent to you by the person who nominated you.

Nominate up to 11 new blogs to receive the award, and then write them 11 new questions – or cheat and use the same questions 🙂

List the rules and display the Sunshine Blogger Award logo in your post and/or your blog

Here are Carol’s questions  and my answers.

  1. Marmite or Vegemite…Think carefully…lol 

Both, I liked Vegemite when we lived in Australia, I love Marmite ( spread thinly ! ) on toast when I’m in the mood.

2. If you were stranded on a desert island what two books and 3 music albums would you take and why?

This had me stumped. Not very original, but I think I should take the complete works of Shakespeare; I certainly haven’t read all he wrote, all life is there and it would take a long time to read, so I wouldn’t be bored while waiting for rescue. And for something light, Three Men in a Boat by Jerome K Jerome, an hilarious trip down the Thames in an age I romantically think I would enjoy; it would also remind me of where I was born and many other happy times by the Thames. Albums even harder, I love so much music of all sorts I would probably get fed up with just three.

3. What or who scares you the most and why?

Fire; it can pop up anywhere caused by terrorists, war, accident or nature.

4. If you could choose who would be your next door neighbour …Who would it be and why?

My sister. We live on opposite sides of the world, too far. I’m sure we would both prefer not to actually live in the same house, but we could pop in and out and look after each other’s gardens and dogs. I haven’t got a dog, but if my sister lived next door I would get one.

5. Having a dinner party? Who would be your 8 guests dead or alive, famous or infamous and why?

A bit worrying that I had to think about this… out of all the billions of people in the world, but after a few days I came up with some possibilities. Greaves, my favourite character in my trilogy. He strolled into the first book uninvited, nameless and ended up writing his own story for the second; he is kind, wise but vulnerable and has experienced  a very different life that I want to hear all about. I love listening to the radio and a varied selection of some of my favourite presenters will make this a dinner party to remember; Michael Ball on BBC Radio 2 has a lovely speaking voice, Brian Cox on Radio Four is enthusiastic about science and would love answering impossible universal questions. Woman’s Hour has accompanied me through life since I was pregnant the first time and the presenters feel like friends, so we’ll have Jenni Murray, Jane Garvey and Lauren Laverne who presents Late Night Woman’s Hour and is at present hosting Desert Island Discs, voted greatest radio show of all time, one of my earliest memories – it has been going since 1942 and is still inspiring questions for bloggers! I must invite my sister, she wouldn’t want to miss this dinner party and Greaves is one of her favourites. Now my eighth guest… I thought why not, why not invite Jesus. What would he really be like, would the other guests even recognise him?

6. Chillies do you love them or hate them?

Hate, I don’t do HOT

7. Would you change anything about your blog and what would it be?

I would have animations and me as a cartoon.

8. Your three favourite foods ...

 Cheese, rice, roasted red peppers

9. Cats or Dogs?

Dogs – see above

10. What is your pet hate? Mine is.. I cannot stand anyone digging at the butter.. scrape it nicely…

Litter Bugs of any sort.

11. Which of your blog posts is representative of you? Please add a link.

I hadn’t realised I wrote this over two years ago.

https://tidalscribe.wordpress.com/2017/02/04/opting-out/

 

Here are the bloggers I have nominated, people I follow regularly or who I have just discovered. Will they  like the challenge or enjoy a bit of fun? No pressure, have a go at some or all of the questions, if you have the time or feel in the mood. Anyone else who wants to have a go is welcome.

https://gracelessageing.wordpress.com/2019/02/24/bajan-escape/

https://rachelmankowitz.com/2019/02/23/snow-and-a-haircut/

https://crowonthewire.com/2019/03/05/cupcakes-by-mark-tulin-friday-flash-fiction/

https://whatwordsmaycome.com/2019/03/07/splinter-15-minute-fiction/

https://thestoriesinbetween.com/2019/03/06/a-little-longer/

https://popsiclesociety.com/2019/03/07/dont-think-too-much/

My Questions

1.Tell us three things about the place and country where you live now.

2.Can you name a teacher you remember for their influence or words of wisdom?

3.Have you been to a school reunion, if so were you glad you went?

4.If money or rarity were not problems, what would you like for your next birthday present?

5.If you were stranded on a desert island with nothing and let’s face it, if you were shipwrecked you are not likely to have your favourite books etc. Would you rather have any person with you or be alone?

6.If you were offered a part as an extra in a film, what would you like to be?

7.If reincarnation is true, who or what would you be next time?

8. What is your favourite mode of transport?

9.City, suburbs or rural retreat?

10.What is your idea of a dream night out?

11. When you are buying birthday cards do you choose flowery or funny ?