The window cleaner had been, the winter afternoon sun was shining through the front window; how long had it been since I had cleaned the diamond panes and dusted the window sill? I had always wanted a bay window and fell in love with the low deep sill when we viewed the house. Perfect for my collection of glass ornaments, at their best in sunlight. When my mother left me her favourite elegant green bottle my husband groaned ‘not more dust gatherers.’

He was right about them being dust gatherers and I vowed to myself I would dust them every week. I carefully picked up the delicate green bottle and polished it lovingly.

‘About time too.’

The rich baritone voice startled me, there was no one at home, the radio was switched off… I turned round to reassure myself I was hearing voices in my head, but there stood an elegant figure of a man, exotically dressed, bronze skin, neat beard and moustache and translucent…

After the initial shock I decided it must be an hallucination, then the dread that I might have a brain tumour replaced the primaeval fear that I was confronting a ghost.

‘Your wish is my command Madam.’

‘Oh don’t be so ridiculous, I know you’re not a genii’ I retorted nervously.

‘Do you have a better explanation as to how I have just emerged from the bottle?’

‘Noo.. so perhaps I should make a wish…’

‘Of course, that is why I am here, three wishes, think wisely.’

 ‘I certainly wish I had met you years ago, I could have done with your help.’

‘Your wish is granted.’

‘I haven’t made one yet.’

‘You just did. I granted your wish when you were a teenager, typical silly schoolgirl, you wished Lawrence would ask you out on a date.’

My stomach contracted, this was getting creepy or rather even creepier.

‘Yes, he did ask me out, you mean that was your doing and my life could have been different if he hadn’t… no that’s rubbish, he would have asked me out anyway, more’s the pity. Anyway, I would have remembered if I had seen a genii.’

‘You and your friend were so busy giggling at the thought of conjuring a genii you didn’t notice a real one. Did your friend become a champion ice skater?’

‘Oh my goodness yes she did, but that was because she had talent…?’

‘I haven’t got all day, you have two wishes left, what are they to be?

 ‘I must think carefully so I don’t end up using my third wish to undo the second.’

‘That’s another wish gone, one left.’

‘Hang on, that’s not fair, I wasn’t wishing then.’

‘You don’t get to make the rules, whatever you wish now will be undone so why not throw caution to the wind.’

‘Er um er I wish I had never married Lawrence.’

In a flash the genie disappeared and so did my front room and my house. I was standing in the middle of a jungle staring at a gorilla. A horrible realisation came to me. Among my many unrealised aspirations when I was at school was to be an adventurer, saving wild life. I certainly did not want to end up as a suburban housewife. Was this what would have happened if I hadn’t married Lawrence? With sweat pouring off me I looked down at the heavy boots encasing my feet and the trail of giant ants heading towards the top of those boots. Where was a genii when you needed one?

‘Rita, Rita I’m home.’

‘Is that you Larry?’

‘Who else are you expecting?’

‘Oh thank goodness.’

‘Why are you clutching that dreadful green bottle?’

I looked down to make sure I was wearing my normal clothes.

‘Just dusting, actually I think you’re right, let’s put this awful bottle with that stuff for the charity shop.’