Where you might end up anywhere…

LOOK UP












…OR LOOK INSIDE…



Where you might end up anywhere…

LOOK UP












…OR LOOK INSIDE…



Elizabeth sipped her latte gratefully after regaling her three friends with her latest adventures. The Cosy Toastie was the favourite café for their regular coffee mornings. Cheerful young staff served them at the table, a great help and there was plenty of space for their wheeled contraptions. The café was popular with Yummy Mummies and their baby conveyances and helped the senior ladies feel they were getting away from ‘old people.’
‘Lucky you Elizabeth, I wish I had a bachelor son coming to live with me and sort things out.’
‘A divorced son would be just as helpful,’ suggested Abigail ‘not that you would want your son’s marriage to break up just to have help with computer stuff.’
‘It could be a nightmare, look what happened to my poor sister, sixty year old homeless son, made it clear he did not want to be living with his mother. She had his two car wrecks in her driveway and his drum kits in her dining room.’
‘Is he still in that band?’
‘Yes, the audiences are our age.’
‘Might you not get in each other’s way Liz in your dear little cottage’ said Abigail.
Elizabeth ignored the implication that Abigail pitied her for living in a ‘cramped little bungalow’.
‘No, John has his own space, the spare bedroom is comfortable and he is having the back room as his office and sitting room. He works from home now and he’s got his television in there.’
‘Isn’t that where you keep all your craft and art things?’
‘That room did need a good sort out, lots of stuff I don’t use any more with my hands. He put some of the things on the ‘Upcycle’ Facebook page, and took other stuff to the charity shops. It looks quite smart now with the new carpet and book shelves. A suitable background for conference calls.’
‘What do they actually do on conference calls, I’ve always wondered.’
‘No idea, I just have to remember not to barge in the room with cups of tea and keep Mitsy quiet when he’s talking to New York. Not easy when the postman comes and all his Amazon deliveries and she gets in a real state when the Sainsbury delivery comes.’
‘I thought you had Waitrose?’
‘I shall still pop in and get the bits I like, if I can fit them in the fridge, though I think we’re getting a bigger fridge freezer.’
‘Still, it will be nice to have the company, though if he has his own television…’
‘I don’t actually see him that much so I still have my sanctuary in the sitting room, though I can’t get the hang of the new big screen television he said I needed, especially since he got rid of the Virgin box so we could have Sky. As long as he doesn’t get rid of my comfy arm chairs. He said the National Trust would like them they are so ancient. I told him they don’t make good solid furniture like the Victorians did. Reg inherited them from his parents, we had them reupholstered a couple of times. John thinks I should have a recliner.’
‘Is John picking you up?’
‘No, he gave me a lift here, but he’s working now and waiting in for some more deliveries. He went to Ikea yesterday to look around, don’t know what he ordered. I’ll get my taxi, same as usual.’

When the taxi drew up outside Elizabeth’s house she was busy concentrating on getting out of the cab with dignity and positioning herself ready for the driver to bring her wheels round. When she finally looked up she was surprised to see a pile of large cardboard boxes in her narrow driveway. As she squeezed carefully by she read strange names on the boxes that gave no clue as to what might have been inside. Ekolsund, Strandmon, Rocksjon, Landskrona, Klubbfors….
John appeared at the front door.
‘Ah Mother, there you are at last.’
‘I told you what time I would be back.’
‘Don’t worry about all this stuff, Joe’s coming round with his big van to take it all to the tip.’
‘What have you bought this time?’
‘Come inside and see.’
‘Where’s Mitsy?’
‘In the back garden, she got a bit over excited.’
In the hall Elizabeth had a feeling of something being very different. John led her into the sitting room with a grin. She leant on the door frame to steady herself as she tried to take in the sight before her and even wondered if she was in her own home. Where her two small arm chairs had been either side of the fireplace sat two very large bright red chairs and by the window a turquoise seat.
‘One of them is a recliner like you wanted.’
‘I never said I wan…’
‘But it’s just what you need to keep your feet up like the doctor said. Try it and you will love it.’
With some difficulty she hoisted herself onto the wide chair and her son handed her a wire with a remote control attached.
‘Now just press the green button, I mean the orange…’
Her legs shot up and she found herself plunged backwards and subject to G force like an astronaut taking off in a space rocket.
‘Sorry Mother, the orange button makes it recline slowly.’
When she got her breath back she asked him where her old armchairs had gone.
‘Underneath the piles of cardboard, Joe reckons he should be able to fit them in his van.’
Which tracks will you take?
















Which city can you see in the distance?
How had I been persuaded to be the fortune teller at the annual fair? My only qualification was that I liked browsing in charity shops so my best friend, who was on the fair committee, figured I would be able to find clothes and jewellery to fit the role.

For half an hour not a soul as much as peeped into my tent. I gazed into the crystal ball, but it could not tell me if I would have any customers, probably because it was just a glass sphere that caught the occasional ray of sunshine through the tent opening. Most of the time the sun was behind a cloud. Perhaps nobody had been enticed to come to the festival.

Then I heard giggling, my heart sank and I was transported back to our school days. Jane and I spent most of our time giggling at things no one else would find funny. Adults on the bus or in the shops would glare at us and we would dissolve into further uncontrollable laughter. Happy days, but now I did not want to be the subject of amusement.
‘Ask her if Troy will ask you out.’
‘You ask her who you’re going to marry.’
‘Ask her if you will pass your GCSEs.’
‘…and exactly what grades we’ll get.’
The first girl to enter, or rather be shoved in by the other two, was underdressed in the skimpiest of clothes and I found myself tutting, was I turning into my mother?
‘Sit down and cross my palm with silver if you want me to look into the crystal ball.’
‘What… do you have to pay, have you got a card reader?’
This was not going according to plan, fortune telling was obviously much easier in the good old days.
‘Well my dear, as you are my first visitor I will grant you a free reading. Close your eyes and concentrate. Now I see something to do with your future. You will soon learn something that will be of great importance to the future direction of your life. It may not be what you expect, but it will lead to a good outcome eventually. Now send your friend in as I feel she needs to hear something important.’
She rushed out of the tent and jabbered excitedly to her friends.
‘It works, I’m going to get good GCSE results.’

The next girl’s expression was hard to read under the layers of make up. She offered me a fivepence piece, quite savvy then. I accepted it, after all I was only doing this for fun. I put my hands round the globe and closed my eyes.
‘Ah, oh dear. I see disappointment in friendship, but do not be disheartened, forge ahead with what you want to do in life and I see that one day you will meet someone very special.’
‘When, when?’
‘I cannot tell you that for sure, but it will be when you least expect. Now I must talk to your other friend. Three is a lucky number and three friends you will always be.’

I was beginning to enjoy my role as a dispenser of wisdom. The third girl was different, the quiet one no doubt. She looked as if she was likely to get excellent results for her exams, but never be asked out by the likes of Troy. I warmed to her, was that me when I was her age? She proffered a fifty pence piece and I pretended to gaze intently into the crystal ball.
To my astonishment I could see pictures. My stomach contracted, did I really have powers? A girl who looked ill, poor, on a dark street, sleeping on the street, how did this happen? Was it her home life, or getting in with the wrong crowd, the wrong man. I glanced away and saw a worried expression on her face. I smiled reassuringly and forced myself to peer again. Now I saw a rainbow, was it just the sun beam filtering through the glass … the picture changed to a smart confident woman on a stage, at a lectern. Before I could see who she was addressing, the picture faded and in front of me was the ordinary glass ball again.

I took her hands. ‘You have a bright future, with lots of choices, as long as you do not waste opportunities. Keep only those friends that are true, stay true to yourself. Don’t be influenced by the crowd, you don’t need to be like everyone else.’
‘Oh, that’s rather deep, you must be real, not just dressing up for fun.’
‘Indeed I am. I hope you have all learned something important today.’


Feeling under the weather?

Lost your get up and go?

Life a bit dull?

Bring some colour into your life.








Christine Brown perused the local Facebook page; Colour Consultant, what was that supposed to be? Improve your well being by learning which are your colours, your special colour. Free consultation offer, today only, drop in at the Emporium. Why not, Christine had a free day and she had never been inside the emporium.

A feast of colour met her eyes as she walked through the door; fabrics, exotic clothes, cushions, occasional furniture and stunning rugs. How very different from the taupe walls and grey carpets at home. Why did she always agree to Geoffrey’s choice and demure to his supposed superior decorating skills?
Lindy DeSilver had her cosy consulting corner upstairs near the Tropical Jungle café. It looked like a cross between a tent and a grotto. Christine approached hesitantly, not sure if another customer might be hidden in the depths. A jangle of earrings heralded the appearance of Lindy at the entrance.
‘Yellow, yes definitely yellow, come in, come in.’
Wall hangings, mirrors and odd dangling objects adorned the interior which was larger than Christine had expected.
‘Sit down dear.’
Christine looked around for a chair, there were none. Lindy was pointing to a pile of cushions, sitting down on them was a lower drop than Christine was expecting and she found herself semi prone.
‘That’s it, make yourself at home. I see your life is lacking in colour.’
Christine’s sensible beige clothes were a bit of a giveaway she guessed, but no doubt Lindy said that to everyone, hoping for business.
‘Yellow is your prime colour and your band is citrus. Do you align with the Mediterranean, South America?’
‘Umm, more Rottingdean, though we sometimes venture up to Yorkshire.’
‘Sorry to hear that, but never mind, you don’t need to visit colourful places to raise your spirits. Look around the emporium, who would have guessed it used to be a Screwfix warehouse?’
‘My poor husband was very upset when they closed this branch, but I certainly prefer the emporium.’
‘I sense your husband is on the grey band, prime Warm Pewter?’
‘Dulux, how did you guess, at least that is what he is doing the feature wall in the living room at this very moment, polished pebble for the other walls.’
‘My dear, you have to get out of there or at least decide whether to change your décor or your husband.’
Christine was beginning to wonder if the woman was insane, or a mind reader and at which point she earned money.
‘This is all very interesting and you have inspired me to look around the emporium and perhaps buy a couple of scatter cushions.’
‘More drastic action is required, but don’t worry, that is where my skills come in. I can help you choose a new wardrobe and my interior design skills will then come to the fore. My total home makeover comes at a very reasonable price.’

Perhaps it was the fact that Geoffrey had a week’s golf holiday in Rottingdean or Christine’s pay rise, but somehow she found her life taken over by Lindy. In moments of sanity she wondered if there was a helpline for vulnerable beige people, but as the results of Lindy’s energetic plans became obvious Christine no longer felt beige, brown or grey, she felt invigorated. Nothing escaped Lindy’s attention and soon the neighbours and even the postman were paying attention.
Chris, what wonderful hanging baskets.
Love your yellow front door Mrs Brown.
I adore that dress Christine, I wish I had the confidence to wear colours like that.
Goodness, what will your Geoffrey say when he gets home?
‘I suspect he might be speechless, do you want to come in for a golden smoothie?’
Mr Tickle, what fun, and this room is so bright, how brave of you to choose yellow and that wallpaper on the feature wall reminds me of our wonderful trip to Peru. You must give me the name of your interior designer.
‘She’s very persuasive, I was just going to buy a couple of cushions and one of those talking sunflowers in a pot, then the next thing I knew… come and see our lime green bedroom.’


When your flowers are taller than your fence…

When you become obsessed with collecting rainwater…

Enjoying a windfall

New council bylaw requires all shop fronts to be yellow or orange.




Late guest at the party


How did you end up here?

Where have you meandered this weekend?
Julian Mountjoy was on top of the world, or at least almost at the top of the Royal Albert Hall. At last his dream to be a BBC presenter at The Proms had come true. He could combine his two dearest interests, music and talking. In his eerie close to the gods he could look around the glorious plush red interior and the tiers of seating, then down at the tiny figures of the Prommers in the arena. With the first piece of music just finished there was time to chat with his two musician guests while the orchestra jiggled positions and the grand piano was carefully wheeled into place.

‘Ariadne, what did you think of that stunning premiere of John Smith’s Symphony in one movement for strings and mobile phones?’
‘I had thought five minutes would be a little short, but there was so much to take in, it was quite long enough.’
‘George?’
‘What an amazing sound picture, I felt… ’
‘Now let’s move on to the piece we are about to hear for the first time at the Proms. Composed in 1911 by Anton Slivervitz it is not often played, perhaps because of its reputation for being fiendishly difficult?’
‘Yes Julian, Slivervitz was famously polydactylous, having five fingers on each hand plus his thumbs. In addition, he was also unusually tall at six foot six, so he was blessed with long slender fingers.’
‘No wonder this piano concerto has always been such a challenge. Tonight’s soloist has waited till this mature stage of his career to add it to his repertoire and this will be the first time he has performed it in Britain. Ariadne, what do we know about Torvig Absalom?’
‘He has been acclaimed as the greatest pianist of his generation and is also a polymath, speaking half a dozen languages fluently and having a masters degree in physics. His upbringing and studies in different parts of the world have made him popular with many great orchestras and he brings his unique personality and energy to every piece.’
‘Well the piano is in place now, there is growing excitement and anticipation in the audience as we wait for Torvig Absalom to step onto the stage. The leader of the orchestra has taken up his position and played that all important note to lead the orchestra in tuning up. All the players will need to be on their toes for this marathon piano concerto that lasts one hour and twenty minutes. Now we wait for the conductor to lead tonight’s soloist onto the stage. The string section are turning their heads obviously expecting tonight’s young conductor, Melody Fairweather, to lead her guest soloist on at any moment. Excitement is building as we all wait for the grand entrance. Daisy Fairweather is making her first appearance at the Proms and this will be a thrilling moment in her career no doubt. We can imagine the excitement back stage as they prepare for their entrance. At rehearsals this afternoon you could see and hear the very special connection she has made with this world famous pianist. If tonight’s performance repeats the wonderfully energetic rehearsal, we are all in for a treat. As we wait for them to appear, Ariadne can you tell us what it’s like in those last moments as you wait for the go ahead to walk on stage and be greeted by the best audience in the world?’
‘Nervous and excited, however many times you have played in a prom. But Torvig is a such a natural performer he knows how to build the excitement, keeping the audience waiting just that little bit longer.’

Backstage at the Royal Albert Hall there was a very different kind of excitement and tension. Daisy Fairweather was getting very nervous with the delay, she just wanted to get on stage and raise her baton. The bossy woman who seemed to be in charge of the crew was also getting edgy.
‘Alison, are you sure you gave Mr Absalom his final call? Is the intercom working, did you knock on his dressing room door?’
‘Yes but he didn’t answer, maybe he got lost.’
‘Don’t be ridiculous and where’s Jerry, it’s his job to escort him so he doesn’t get lost, ah you’re here Jerry, where is Mr. Absalom?’
‘We seem to have lost him, he didn’t answer when I knocked so he must have slipped out.’
‘Alison go and check all the corridors and you too Ben. Jerry go and knock loudly and if he doesn’t answer open the door.’
‘The door was locked.’
‘I think we need to call security, we can’t keep the audience waiting or the BBC, this is a live television broadcast. Ben get hold of security, Jerry get yourself back to his dressing room and… and…’

‘And this is Julian Mountjoy live at the proms for this very special concert. There seems to be a delay bringing on tonight’s highly esteemed soloist… George, as an orchestra leader tell us what it is like as you wait for your conductor and soloist to step forward to the front of the stage…’

‘Jerry, there you are, what the hell is going on?’
‘I’m afraid it’s bad news.’
‘How bad?’
‘The worst, he’s… he’s dead.’
‘What do you mean, who’s dead?’
‘Mr Absalom, dead in his dressing room.’
Where will you go today, shopping, pause to watch the Olympics or go for a shady walk? Where will you end up?























Have you had a chance to see El Galeon on her travels round the world?