‘I don’t even need Satnav, I managed fine without it before.’

‘What about that time in Cornwall?’

‘That was your father’s fault.’

‘Your lovely new electric car, that you were so keen to have, comes with it anyway, so you might as well use it.’

‘I’ll be fine on the motorway, well as long as I can stick to one motorway.’

‘Precisely, you have three or four to tackle, depending which way you go.’

‘I can’t work out how you switch it on.’

‘That’s why I am going to put your destination in, then all you have to do is follow the route and instructions. Does this old school friend of yours even have a post code up there in the Scottish highlands?’

‘It’s not that remote, I’ve got it in her letter.’

‘Have you emailed her to say when you’re coming?’

‘She hasn’t got internet, she only ever wrote at Christmas till this epistle urging me to go and visit.’

‘When did you last see her?’

‘At school, don’t look so worried, you told me to get out and about a bit more.’

‘I meant Zumba Gold or U3A conversational French.’

‘Okay, it’s all set up, just don’t touch anything or switch it off. All you have to do is follow the map.’

‘It’s like a cinema screen!’

At first Jill found the constant instructions irritating as it told her how to navigate the wrong way out of her home town, but the rich Scottish baritone, apparently called Callum, was quite good company. When she saw a square flash up on the screen saying ‘The Long and Winding Road’ she agreed with Callum that a playlist of travelling songs would be pleasant. She touched the square, but no music came on. Jill didn’t dare touch anything else.

When she reached the point where she usually headed for the slip road onto the motorway, Callum told her to turn in the opposite direction. Jill found herself going down a pretty road with cottages and stables, then down a lane that led under the motorway. That did not make sense as she was now on the wrong side, she didn’t want to end up in the southbound lanes.

Now Callum was sending her down a long winding road past farms, houses and factories. The only thing that made sense was the fact that she was vaguely heading north and she had caught a glimpse of motorway services. All she had to do was turn into the services, have a cup of coffee, then head out onto the motorway. Callum was getting rather irate now as she had stopped listening to him. Jill was also getting irate as there seemed no way into motorway services except to climb a fence or plough through a pine forest.

She conceded defeat when Callum directed her to a road that went back under the motorway. For a while they drove along reassuringly parallel to the motorway, then she saw a sign that said 500 yards to Greenways Garden Centre. Just as Callum was frantically telling her to take the turning on the left she spotted another sign, 25 yards to Greenways Garden Shop, Café and Emporium. It was too good an opportunity to miss, she needed a break.

Parking was easy and Callum seemed to shut up when she turned the engine off. Greenways was just the sort of place she loved. Clean spacious toilets, elegant café and interesting glimpses of plants and garden furniture. When she looked at her watch Jill was surprised it was lunchtime already.

Looking around at the other customers they were obviously here to enjoy lunch with their friends, not on an arduous journey. There were free local newspapers to read and her cheese scone was delicious. She was enjoying this part of her adventurous journey.

Jill set off to stroll round the plants, looking for a pot plant for her friend that would survive the journey. She couldn’t decide so headed past olive trees and palms to a showy gift section and spent a good while choosing for the friend and her sister’s birthday. A few steps from the till were racks of clothes, an opportunity to get a couple of tops and maybe a skirt for her stay in Scotland. Searching for changing rooms she went through a door that led her into Greenways Emporium and Antiques Centre. The sort of place Jill and her friends adored, with all sorts of thing you didn’t know you needed. The other people looking round were just as interesting as the objects on display. As Jill held up a delightful glass paperweight to examine her phone startled her,  she delved into her bag.

‘How are you getting on Mother? Are you at motorway services, it sounds noisy.’

‘No, I have stopped at a glorious garden centre for lunch.’

‘What junction did you come off at?’

‘I haven’t got onto the motorway yet, Callum sent me all over the place.’

‘Where on earth are you now?’

‘According to the local newspaper in the café I’m in Upper Ridlington.’

‘Is there an air base nearby.’

‘No idea.’

‘Have you seen the time?’

‘Oh four o’clock already!’

‘I’m just looking at the map on my computer screen, I don’t understand how you ended up there.’

‘I don’t think the Satnav works very well and the music system doesn’t work at all.’

‘The car hasn’t got a music system.’

‘The Long and Winding Road came up on the screen so I clicked onto it.’

 ‘Oh no, that’s what the journey option avoiding motorways is called!  The best thing you can do now is set the Satnav with your address and come straight home.’

‘But I don’t know how to work the Satnav…’