phobias

Tuesday Terror – Feeling Uplifted

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What are some of the things that might happen to you if you go in a lift?

See footnote 1

Get stuck all by yourself

Get stuck in an overcrowded lift ( probably the reason why it got stuck )

Get stuck with a homicidal maniac

All of the above, but between floors

If you are in a glass lift at least someone will notice it has broken down. Unless everyone in the building has already left.

See Footnote 2

What might happen next…

You press the alarm button but it does not work.

The alarm button works, but the company who owns the building are saving money by ending the contract with the lift engineers.

The fire brigade have been called to a major fire and cannot come to your rescue for hours.

See Footnote 3

If you are really unlucky the major fire is in the building you are trapped in

Worse lift disasters

The lift cable snaps and you plunge to the basement, danger of death depends on how many floors there are.

The lift doors open, but when you step in the lift it is not there and you plunge down the lift shaft.

Less likely events

The lift rockets upwards and straight out of the top of the building. The good news, it will come down again unless…

The lift has been the subject of secret space research and changed into a rocket. You will not come down.

Least likely dramatic events

A smooth ride upwards that takes longer than you expect. When the doors open you step out into the future, because someone in the future has turned the lift into a time machine. At least you will get a great welcome and be looked after as they are so excited their experiment has worked.

You step out of the lift into the past. As your twenty storey office block / luxury apartment block has not been built yet you are left in mid air.

These are some of the reasons why I avoid lifts.

Unverified Events

You step out of the lift and find yourself in heaven, having had a massive heart attack brought on by the stress of going in a lift. There you meet someone else who has also just died of a heart attack due to the strain of walking up twenty flights of stairs because he was scared of lifts.

Footnotes

  1. Elevator
  2. Never be the last person out of a building
  3. Always go to the toilet before you go in a lift

Do you prefer stairs or lifts?

Have you had any traumatic lift experiences?

Mellow Monday

~ tidalscribe.com ~ 28 Comments

Mellow yellow? You would be far from mellow if you suffered from Xanthophobia, fear of the colour yellow. Xanthophobia from Greek xanthos, yellow .

If you could prove your condition you could opt out of work and many life situations. If we are to be an inclusive society we would need to take drastic action to help sufferers.

There may be a good reason for fearing yellow; which came first, the yellow warning signs or the danger?

In the work place even a cleaning job would be out of the question with those yellow plastic boards warning of wet floors. The police are no longer the Boys in Blue, but the Girls and Boys in yellow. High Viz jackets are standard wear for many jobs now and yellow tabards are worn by everyone from stewards at events ‘Look at me, I’m important and I’m not afraid of yellow’ down to school outings.

Even if you have obtained exemption from work, yellow lurks everywhere. Roadworks going on outside your house? All the council vehicles will be bright yellow. Going on holiday or a day trip? You are sure to come across a yellow bus or even an amphibious vehicle.

You will certainly not be safe in the garden, the Xanthophobic will pray for a cloudy day so the gazanias don’t open up and mow the lawn every day before the dandelions get a chance to pop up and attract those awful bees with their furry yellow stripes. Turning our lawns to meadows must be a nightmare for the Xanthophobic community.

Check before you visit your friends who have been decorating, what colour schemes have they chosen? It seems there is more to choosing paint than we imagined.

‘For all its decorating potential, yellow should be used with due consideration and care. Yellow primary action is to trigger emotional responses,’ says Karen Haller, colour psychology specialist. It has an impact on the nervous system. As a result, yellow is the strongest colour in psychological terms. 

While yellow is a colour to use with caution, decorating with yellow has a relatively long wavelength and is emotionally stimulating, making us feel confident, positive and optimistic. but the wrong tone of yellow can lead to feelings of irritation, nervousness and depression.’

If you are Xanthophobic better not come round my house. But Xanthophobics would not be reading this as my website is yellow. I don’t know when it became my favourite colour. In the late seventies it was orange and brown, later it was pink. I’m not sure how I settled on yellow.

How does such a phobia start? Perhaps early exposure to Mr. Men books, the constant company of Mr. Happy and Mr. Tickle…

Do you have a favourite colour or a colour you cannot abide?