Mostly Monday -Broken Headlines

Orange rocket launch cancelled due to engine trouble.

It’s Bank Holiday Monday in the kingdom, except for Scotland and motoring organisations have issued an amber warning to motorists…

Outbreak of mosquitoes in Southbourne; Health Secretary advises everyone to buy mosquito nets.

NASA advises leading blogger that orange rocket has a name and finds it offensive to be referred to by its colour.

A couple who named their new born baby Artemis have issued a complaint to NASA as Artemis fails to launch following the baby’s birth. Mr and Mrs Take were quoted as saying ‘We don’t want our son named after a failure.’

A social media row broke out after NASA responded to new parents Mr and Mrs Take to point out that Artemis was a goddess, so the name would have been more suitable if he had been a daughter. There have been heated arguments on international media as to whether a rocket is male or female or is entitled to self identify.

Scientists have issued a warning…

‘Giant leap for lambkind in Nasa’s Artemis 1 launch’

Shaun the Sheep is reported to be despondent as he returned to his field tonight. When asked how he felt he declined to comment.

When NASA was contacted they explained that Shaun the Sheep and his new friend Snoopy are the most important part of the mission. Their official purpose is to demonstrate zero gravity by floating around.