‘One large rucksack containing the following;

One set of six keys, one bottle of water, one diary, one iPhone.

One yellow purse containing one note each of the following denominations – £20, £10, £5 and £7.23  in change, one Visa debit card in the name of Lottie Lincoln, six assorted membership cards, an assortment of coffee shop reward cards, one book of second class stamps with one stamp remaining and ten business style cards in the name of Lottie Lincoln, author.

One makeup bag with assorted toiletries, one facemask, one box of plasters, one packet of Ibuprofen, one large notebook, two pens, one large beach pebble, one copy of Big Issue magazine, one Mars bar and one tied plastic bag containing unknown substance.’

At this point Lottie could not resist interrupting.

‘That bag only contains plastic bags, you know, for the recycling bin at the Co Op.’

‘If you say so Madam, but I am not permitted to open it here, it will have to go to the lab for analysis.’

‘Well not just bags, any soft plastic, like those bits you peel off the food containers, you have to wash them of course, especially if it was fish…’

‘Can we just get on, I’m sure you don’t want to be detained any longer than necessary… one carry tray containing six plants…’

‘Primulas, someone was selling them from their front garden, just before I went down to the beach…. And why am I being detained, I only came out for a breath of fresh air and a newspaper, I certainly did not expect this.’

‘Do you often pop out to buy a paper with a heavy rucksack equipped for an expedition?’

‘Hardly that, you should see what I take on a proper expedition. No, I just like to be prepared. So why have I been arrested?’

‘Why were you taking photographs in a restricted area?’

‘Oh, was that sign for real, how exciting, I wondered why that part of the beach was fenced off. I’m new in the area. I was just taking photos for my blog, Literally Lottie.’

‘And how long have you belonged to the activist group?’

‘What activist group… oh you mean all those lovely people with the Save Our Seas posters? I had only just met them when you lot turned up. I can’t see what they have done wrong and certainly you have nothing to charge me with.’

‘Yes I do. Under the Coastal Protection Act 1949, the removal of any natural material such as sand and pebbles from public beaches in the UK is illegal.’