shopping

Friday Fun – November Nonsense

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Where does this door lead? Find out further on.

What is your latest time waster?

One could say it’s a good warming up exercise for writers. Words with Friends, will they still be your friends after frenzied competition? If you have friends or relatives on other continents there will always be someone who is awake to play, even if you are up very late or early. Unlike Word Blitz and Quiz Planet there are no time constraints, so I do not have the excuse of my hands not working quickly enough for losing all the time.

In the meantime I don’t seem to be getting very far with Duolingo and the owl is always sending me sad or cross email reminders.

Meanwhile back in the real world, did Aliens leave this strange monolith? Find out where it is at the weekend.

Do you like peeping in windows? Who lives here?

Not sure… perhaps you prefer eavesdropping.

Cafes provide ideal opportunities to listen in to other tables, perhaps even snap what they are eating…

‘It was so windy his hearing aids blew off.’

‘She’s a tidy sort of person, so usually when she says the house is a complete mess she means she hasn’t emptied the dishwasher, but when we went to stay, the house was a complete mess.‘

When you hear a whole coffee and cake’s worth ( slowly eaten ) of a holiday from hell you are tempted to join in. ‘Oh that’s just like when we went away with… ‘

But you don’t need to pretend you are looking at your phone or absorbed in your cake. The queue at the shop till is just as fascinating. This is why we must keep human beings at the till. The young chap on the till is busy taping two large rectangular multi photo frames together for a customer. She had explained in great detail what happened last time she bought two such frames and why she needed them taped together to make carrying easier. She then went on to explain why she had bought and was buying again these frames and detailed how many grandchildren she had, referring to how many children she had had and probably about to describe how she had met her husband, but by that time he had finished wrapping. A self service checkout would not have helped her, nor listened with interest to her saga…

How has your week been? Eavesdropped on anyone interesting?

Do you play any addictive games?

Silly Saturday – Strange Shopping

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I’m busy with visitors, just time for a quick trip to the shops for a few essentials.

Shopping makes you tired so it’s handy to have somewhere comfortable to sit.

And if you take your visitors shopping make sure you choose somewhere easy to find to meet up if they get lost…

...or you never know where you might end up...

...or what you might end up buying.

Your visitors will need a cup of tea after all that shopping.

What is your ideal shopping experience?

Silly Sunday – Silly Shopping

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Didn’t get what I wanted here.

Not much luck here either. What do you mean their system’s been hacked?

That’s handy, I needed a water butt, I’ll just see if I have enough change.

I thought it said £2.99 – it’s made of plastic!

At least you get a free safari with it.

Time for a coffee break, but spoiled for choice.

Let’s stick with orange…

So that’s what happened to Woolworths.

Don’t know why I got turned away from all the other places…

Silly Sunday – What, Where and Why?

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FRIDAY

SATURDAY

Meanwhile in the wider world I missed this tiny bit of news on Friday morning and wondered why a friend messaged saying ‘hope Microsoft gets fixed so you can order your carpet.’ I wondered whatsap on earth she was talking about. Thank goodness brunch with friends was not affected and fortunately they had heard what was happening, or rather, not happening around the world.

Meanwhile at the carpet shop one doesn’t need a computer to pick a carpet and they write in a book.

And luckily you could still get hydrated for free with an amazing new invention… a water fountain.

All the rain has been good for nomowing.

When ‘news items’ pop up on your computer do you get distracted from writing your blog? Am I the only person who hasn’t heard about these folk before?

’10-foot-tall people’ discovered by archaeologists in Nevada cave – Extraordinary human remains have been found in the US state of Nevada, with some of the skeletons measuring up to 10 feet tall. Alongside their jaw-dropping size, the bodies – some of which were said to have been mummified – were found to have had red hair.

Back to the present and what lies round the corner?

After a ride on that perhaps you had better go somewhere more relaxing.

Have you been affected by the big switch off or ten foot giants?

Silly Sunday – Wider World

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Catch up with what is happening where you are or aren’t…

Which of these will steal your lunch?

Is this the smallest waiting room in the country?

New report on the dark side of toy rabbit life.

DIY ideas

Increasing numbers of home owners are putting their houses in light bulbs.

Enjoy a sunny trip to the seaside

But make sure you obey all the rules

A support group has been started for readers who never manage to complete the weekend puzzles in their favourite newspaper. The founder of the group said ‘People don’t realise what a devastating effect this is having on lives.‘

Where do you like to shop? Why not visit the popular Vintage Quarter?

Or follow Doctor Who to his favourite shopping location.

How has your week been? Have you been anywhere interesting?

Fun Friday

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When you open the instructions and put them straight back in the box...

When you bump into someone you didn’t want to meet at the supermarket.

When you like to break the law.

When you buy your new house at Ikea

When your fiction comes true…

When vegans paint still life.

When your cake mix order from Amazon goes wrong.

When your hobbies know no limits.

Fun Friday – Spring into Spring

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Scientists now believe that carrots DO help you see in the dark, probably because carrots themselves can actually see in the dark when they are underground.

Do you worry about what you read in the newspaper?

Do you worry who is watching you when you are out shopping?

So you should, it is all true, so why not just turn to the puzzle pages…

…and get even more fraught,

or you could relax by counting plastic.

Bored with shopping, your favourite shops closing down? Go and play the piano instead.

And on a lighter note, not a piano note, wildlife experts are worried about the demise of the common rat, which may not be as common as previously thought. Householders and gardeners can help by providing the environment that rats need and also putting out food for them.

Tuesday Tiny Tale – Plastic

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It slipped out of my hands and onto the tiled floor, silver splinters slithered in all directions. I was devastated, in its frozen state it had cracked, my favourite. I closed the freezer door, my plastic box collection was dwindling rapidly.

I posted a picture with a sad emoji on our Facebook page Post Plastic. Comments were mixed.

‘First World problems, I wish I had any left overs to put in the freezer.’

‘Why don’t you try those waxed cloth wraps, they are a life saver.’

‘But not much good for a litre of homemade soup’ I retorted.

‘Just make what you need.’

‘I am trying to save gas by batch cooking.’

Later I was battling to get the children ready for the shopping expedition.

‘Kids, have you all got your containers?’

They grumbled all the way up the road, especially when they saw the long queues outside ‘Weigh and Save’ and ‘Tap and Top Up’.

‘Muum, why can’t we have shower gel?’

‘Nothing wrong with a bar of soap, we haven’t got enough containers for non essentials.’

There was a cry of horror from one of the vats, it looked like a battle scene, someone had dropped their glass jug of tomato sauce, a luxury most of us were doing without. My neighbour joined us in the queue.

‘How are you getting on with the milkman?’

‘We’re 759th on the waiting list.’

‘I hate to say it, but my mother was right, I should have registered with a milkman months ago, at the time he seemed too expensive. Now even the loyal customers are being rationed, so Mum can’t get a spare bottle for us.’

The total ban on plastic had repercussions most of us had not imagined. There was a chronic shortage of glass bottles and jars as they were requisitioned and a shortage of milk as cows had to be milked by hand, or so we were told. I had no idea how milking parlours worked or why they needed plastic.

‘What are you getting Robby for his birthday?’

‘Edible Lego and tin soldiers.’

‘It’s a nightmare at the hospital, I dropped a glass syringe and it shattered. I was not popular. Such a shortage they are talking about reusing them.’

‘Tell me about it. I went to blood donors, the only stuff I can afford to give away and the nurse dropped the bottle, blood and broken glass everywhere and my precious fluids wasted. ‘

‘Are you going to wickerwork this evening?’

‘You bet, I’ve got to get that shopping basket finished before my last carrier bag disintegrates.’

‘Oh, here’s Carrie, did you hear about her poor mother?’

‘Carrie, so sorry to hear about your Mum, was it a shock?’

‘It was rather, but a blessing in a way, I’ll inherit her Tupperware collection.’

Tuesday Tiny Tale – Discovery

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‘What do you mean, dead in the bed?’

‘I tried to wake him but there was no response.’

‘But what was he doing in the bed, who was he?’

‘A customer I presume, we find them sometimes in the morning, can’t find their way out and settle in for the night.’

‘But surely security do the rounds at closing time?’

‘Well it’s a very big store and five floors… ‘

The new young manager of LIKE stared at the customer care assistant, he was beginning to get an inkling why his predecessor may have resigned.

‘And when you find live customers in bed what do you do?’

‘Wake them up and give them a voucher for breakfast in the restaurant.’

‘That sounds fair enough.’

Live customers were so much easier to deal with. The manager wondered what the protocol for dead customers was, probably too late to try out the new defibrillator. He looked at the time, the store had been open for five minutes already. Sweet Dreams was on the top floor, but unfortunately so was the customer entrance from the car park.

 ‘Does anyone else know about this?’

‘No, only Val the cleaner, she skedaddled up to the staff canteen to have a cup of tea and get over the shock.’

‘Er, um ‘ Dean isn’t it,’ he tried to surreptitiously read the chap’s badge ‘get yourself right back there and head off any customers while I call security… Oh what did the bo…the customer look like?’

‘Very peaceful, with the LIKE swan down king sized duvet tucked up round his chin, could even have been part of the display.’

‘Security? Benson here… Jeremy Benson, no I’m your new manager, who’s in charge today? Suspended, so who is in temporary charge?… Brian? Jeremy Benson here, get up to Sweet Dreams immediately, we have a problem, I’ll meet you there. How many bedroom displays? Twenty seven, well look for the one with an occupied bed.’

It was Saturday morning and the store was buzzing already, just how he had imagined his dream job, but now a busy store was a nightmare. If news got out of this in the town or to their competitors it didn’t bear thinking of.

Two security women confronted him, he flashed his ID card and they looked vaguely embarrassed and very amused.

‘Is Brian here? Good, show me where the incident took place.’

Benson vowed to get to grips with the store layout as one of the women led him through a maze of three walled bedrooms and voluptuous bedding.

‘Good morning Brian, thanks for being so prompt.’

‘I presume you have called the police?’

‘NO! … I mean let’s assess the situation first.’

He stared at the luxury faux bedroom, which was much nicer than his own humble abode; who wouldn’t want to stay the night. He had never actually seen a dead body, perhaps this was a joke, a dummy from the Love Living show rooms.

‘Are we sure he is actually dead Brian?

‘Of course he’s bloody dead, I was with the ambulance service for twenty years, I thought this job would be nice and peaceful.’

‘So what is your normal security procedure?’

‘Usually the customers are not actually dead; they drop with exhaustion or have a panic attack when they can’t find the way out. Though we did have a heart attack victim the other week, first aid officer attended, paramedics came promptly and worked on him, that was when it was decided to get defibrillators.’

 ‘And did the customer survive?’

‘No, but luckily LIKE were cleared of any blame, natural causes.’

Benson looked around for inspiration as to what should be done. He spotted an assistant pushing a large trolley full of duvets and pillows.

‘Well Brian I think our first priority is removal. We don’t want to spoil our customer’s day by suggesting anything is amiss.’