Silly Saturday – Don’t Do It Yourself

DIY is fun and cheaper, unless it all goes horribly wrong.

Reasons not to Do It Yourself

1. If it goes wrong you will have to pay someone to fix it.

2. Most accidents happen at home and all accidents that happen at home involve DIY; either the person doing it or innocent bystanders. Hazards include…

A. Electrocution

B. Severing of limbs

C. Falling from heights



There are many big tasks that you cannot Do I Yourself – depending on which part of the world you live in these include…

1. Reroofing your house

2. Putting in new double glazing

3. Building an extension

4. Putting in a swimming pool / fish pond

5. Rewiring

6. New bathroom / kitchen

7. Digging a basement.

8. Felling Trees

Once you decide to go ahead with a project here are some handy points to remember.

Working out which company to use, or whether to call on that bloke you know from the Bottle and Brew, will take as long as the project itself so let’s skip that stage.

1. The arrival. Whatever time they have said they will come they will either arrive half an hour early while you are still in your dressing gown or two hours late… at the very moment you are taking an important phone call or visiting the bathroom.

2. Refreshments. Always offer tea, coffee or water in case they take revenge on mean customers… how often is tricky and depends on the weather – do they need warming up or cooling down and do you want to avoid them monopolising your toilet?

3. Mobile phones. Very useful, especially if they need to call their boss/base/office/factory ( see 4 ). It is a time wasting call if you hear them say ‘Okay Darling, can you put Mummy on the phone’ or ‘Okay Darls, see you tonight, love you… me too… ’

4. The Problem. There will always be a problem. Expect to be summoned before lunchtime with sucking in of teeth and shaking of head. They have forgotten a part, something is the wrong size or the ground is much harder than expected. More rare is the totally unexpected – see 6.

5. The Noise. Scaffold being put up, walls being demolished, trees being sawed… there is no project that will not annoy the neighbours and their dogs, but it helps if they have subjected you to noise, dust and inconvenience previously and you have not complained.

6. Major Delay. This usually involves a body or unexploded bomb in the back garden, great if you are a writer, not so good if you have no other home to go to. You will be evacuated and your property sealed off for the foreseeable future.

7. Normal Delay. Be thankful 6 hasn’t happened to you and be resigned to the fact the project will always take far longer than predicted due to the weather or The Problems.

But when the work is complete it will all have been worth it as you sit in your pool/ conservatory/designer garden  – unless of course it has all gone horribly wrong and you have to take them to court…


14 thoughts on “Silly Saturday – Don’t Do It Yourself

  1. I have had one or two of those accidents myself. An electric charge threw me across the kitchen I was doing up [luckily I was wearing my rubber-soled trainers] & burned a big weal across my hand. I also broke a couple of ribs when I fell across the bath while taking down a shower curtain. I still do a lot of DIY though!! Mostly painting & décor nowadays-

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  2. We did our own roof in 1997 and dug a fish pond (7’x10′ 2 feet deep in the middle) in 1993. Recently, though, we’ve hired professionals for the most recent re-roof and new bathroom. Also plastering; in fact, I have a blog post about that scheduled. Interior painting isn’t that hard, although the surface prep is tedious.

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    1. Well done with the roof – I think we can out do you with the fish pond – our previous house came with a small fish pond and 5 large carp. I came home from late shift to discover Cyberspouse had dug a giant hole six feet deep – putting the liner in was even harder, but the fish were happy with their diving pool and I loved the new rockery. In unrelated rockery gardening accidents both of us managed to fall in the pond!

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      1. Six feet deep! Cyberspouse was Super-spouse. That must be a really good pond. Our goldfish did quite well — well enough to attract a great blue heron. Now we have no fish, but the heron was impressive to see.

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  3. I always end up trying to do most everything that needed doing in my homes because I did not have enough to hire it out (exceptions – plumbing and electrical, of which I am terrified). So in my first mobile home which I called “The Mouse House” because it was so small, I decided to build myself a sewing area and area for my TV and storage for materials. I measured everything and drew up what seemed like it would fit, and then when I went to get the wood for it, I had the hardware store cut the wood to the right sizes, so to me, it seemed like I had a kit now that would be easy for me to do. I laid it all out on the bedroom floor after making space for the sewing/tv area along the wall. I managed to get it all assembled, and then all I needed to do was to lift it up into place and push it in there. Well, I had no clue how heavy it was, and it durn near fell on top of me. Only by extreme pushing and struggling did I manage to get it up, and then it must have been just a tad off from my measurements as it wouldn’t fit right. I think I had to put another board between it and the adjoining wall. What a mess! It eventually worked though and I do have to say that it served me well in those early years when I had no money to buy anything that was ready-made for such purposes, or to have someone else do it. I just would never do it again in this lifetime. So this is sure good advice for any woman or even some gentlemen.

    Liked by 1 person

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