Silly Saturday – Missing News

Bringing you the news you may have missed… today we report on a statement by the Woodland Trust.

‘The Woodland Trust has been the victim of a sophisticated, high level cyber-incident and it is feared confidential information about many of our trees has been accessed. As soon as we became aware of the situation, we took immediate action to mitigate the impact on the trees and notified the relevant woods. We have been working hard alongside experts, including forensic timber specialists, to determine the nature of the attack and assess if any branches may have been compromised. We are sorry for the concern this incident will cause. It is affecting our ability to support certain services for our trees and our woods. We are working hard to resume normal services as soon as possible.’

When asked about the effect on trees a spokeshuman said

 ‘When human beings ‘buy’ a tree or trees to dedicate to a loved one, or as an environmentally friendly birthday present, that tree or trees remain anonymous. Supporters may visit the wood where it is planted, but they must sign an agreement not to contact the tree in any manner.’ 

‘So they cannot carve their initials into the bark?’

‘Certainly not, no contact at all, no photographs may be taken and no hugging.’

‘What will happen now?’

‘This is a terrible situation for which we can only apologise to all trees and their saplings. Their identities could be revealed and lead to great stress, resulting in the postponement or even cancellation of spring.’

13 thoughts on “Silly Saturday – Missing News

  1. Wooden it rot your socks. I hope they get to the root of the problem and get their members to branch out and search for the culprit and leave no leaves unturned. I wooden put it past the squirrels to have been part of an inside job!

    Liked by 1 person

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