What’s in the Envelope?

My sister in Australia received this important piece of parchment.

What mysterious parcel was this? I had sent her a package; a few of my ‘business cards’. Being mean I did not send them with a gift or greetings card, but in the smallest envelope I could find to save on postage. To be fair to the Border Force it could have contained microchips or whatever spies use these days. My only worry had been that the tiny package would be lost in the post – not exactly a worry as I had another few thousand at home. Now I know the Australian Border Force could be on to me and shall have to be careful what I write.

34 thoughts on “What’s in the Envelope?

  1. Dear Ms. Gogerty. It has come to our attention that you are disparaging the Australian Border Force on the internet, which is an Offence in itself. The reasons your letter was deemed suspicious include:
    1. Using the postal services in this day and age.
    2. The colour of the envelope. It may have been a Chinese ruse to avoid customs.
    3. Our scanners are set to detect, among other things, images circulated by climate activists which may alarm our citizens as to global warming and the waves crashing into the beach brought up an immediate alert.
    4. We are currently investigating the activities of one Arthur Blogger.

    We therefore insist that you cease and desist from any criticism of our Service and in the future that your do your bit for international security and intergovernmental relations by not sending red cheapskate missives via the post.
    Yours sincerely, Peter Dutton, Minister for Locking Up People (soon to be PM when I get the numbers)

    Liked by 3 people

  2. I’ve had one incoming stopped from China by the Post Office and so far 3 gifts from the US that have been stopped for more duty to be paid. Once was on a nightie for my wife?? So far I don’t think I’ve had any going out stopped so I must lie better than you on the contents.
    Huge Hugs

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Now if you’re lucky you should see an increase in book sales as a result of the great interest in your lovely cards! 😀 Seriously, I know there is a job to do but it is concerning when personal mail is opened to this scale. We receive parcels with a corner ripped out and where a camera has been put in to look at the contents! BTW love your new business cards, Janet!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. My main objection (having been the receiver of this important document) is that they stressed nothing was removed – they could have least have distributed a few of the business cards to increase Tidalscribe’s fame! I was also amused to know they were looking for guns and other weapons. Hidden in a parcel that small??

    Liked by 1 person

  5. My boringly sensible conclusion is that they felt similar to credit cards, and were opened in case they were fraudulent ‘blanks’ that had been cloned for use in another country. But then I did work for the police for 12 years, so heard about such things happening all the time.
    By contrast, I recently bought this fierce-looking kitchen knife.
    This breezed through customs unopened, and was delivered to my door by Royal Mail requiring no proof of age.
    Best wishes, Pete.

    Liked by 1 person

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