A lot has been happening in the world since I took my blogging break… find out more in tonight’s story...

The boss stared at the television screen in horror as a familiar face loomed into view and an all too familiar voice began to spout words.

‘We have the biggest rockets and we are going to blast the moon out of its orbit, blast it to pieces if necessary to stop those Chinese claiming ownership or IRan blockading our moonlight.

Our four brave astronauts, thanks to me, are taking off today, further into space than ever before, further into space than planned. I have authorised them to keep going till they get to Mars and claim it for our great country and rename it in my honour…’

‘Darling, wakey wakey, Darling WAKE UP aren’t you supposed to be going to the base, isn’t Artemis taking off today?’

‘Oh my God, what time is it? I just had the most dreadful dream… I must get to the base before he puts a jinx on the whole operation.’

Amid calls for NASA to take over running the USA with their calm, dignified efficiency, viewers are tuning in to a new live broadcast on News 24 to fill the vacuum left since the astronauts returned safely to earth.

At 47, Acacia Avenue, Surbiton the Smith family are preparing for the challenge of another boring day in suburbia.

‘Clive, what is the weather report and how will this affect the Smiths?’

‘Temperature warm for April, but showers expected later. However, there is a strong breeze which would make it worthwhile to hang the washing out on the line.’

‘We are going over to Sally who is observing the back garden, where Alfie the Caverpoo is investigating behind the garden shed.’

‘Yes this could be significant as there have been reports of foxes. But more importantly the back door is opening… yes, Mrs Smith is coming out with a basket full of washing, setting it down on the patio, looking up at the sky doubtfully. She is returning indoors, this is not looking good… Oh it’s okay, she has come out with a peg bucket. We do know wooden pegs are being used, having been found the most effective and environmentally friendly method of hanging up the washing. Now she is looking up at the sky again, a large black cloud has appeared, this is the sort of dilemma faced with English weather.’

‘Yes Sally, the Met Office has confirmed rain is sweeping in from the west and we hand over to our kitchen correspondent Claire who can confirm Mrs Smith has brought the washing back into the kitchen.’

‘Mrs Smith is putting the washing into the tumble drier, clearly distressed at the change of mission plan. It may be a surprise to some viewers, that like many English homes, the washing machine and tumble drier are in the kitchen, the Smith’s home has no utility room. At this point we should ask Mike, our reporter on environmental issues, what impact it will have, the use of electricity to dry the washing instead of wind and solar power.’

‘Yes this is bad news…’

‘If you are just joining us, after a long stressful day we await to see if all the Smith family get home safely for their dinner. Mr Smith is cooking this evening. John, how common is it for husbands to do the cooking?’

‘More common than you might think. We understand that Mr Smith works an early shift so Mrs Smith has a busy morning getting the children ready for school, tidying up after breakfast, taking them to school on her way to her job for 9.30 am. Mr Smith is responsible for collecting them from school and Mrs Smith is expected home any moment, hopefully before the children get too hungry. Sam is outside in Acacia Avenue awaiting her return.’

‘Yes John I can see her red car coming round the corner and this is the hard part where she must make a sharp turn onto the narrow driveway and line up to plug in her electric car to charge overnight.’

‘After a few tense moments the family are sitting at the table and Mr Smith is removing and switching off all electronic devices.’

Any viewers rejoining us I can report that the dishwasher was successfully loaded after dinner and our couple are now making preparations for bed. If we can get the camera in closer to the dishwasher, yes a red light is showing the cycle has finished. At this stage it is important to… good, Mrs Smith has opened the door and left it ajar, this ensures optimum drying conditions in the dishwasher. Meanwhile her husband has ventured out to the back garden to fetch Alfie the dog in and has now locked the back door. I can confirm the back door has been safely locked.

Rejoin us at six am tomorrow to see if the family have made it safely through the night.