Tuesday Tiny Tale -The Crystal Ball

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How had I been persuaded to be the fortune teller at the annual fair? My only qualification was that I liked browsing in charity shops so my best friend, who was on the fair committee, figured I would be able to find clothes and jewellery to fit the role.

For half an hour not a soul as much as peeped into my tent. I gazed into the crystal ball, but it could not tell me if I would have any customers, probably because it was just a glass sphere that caught the occasional ray of sunshine through the tent opening. Most of the time the sun was behind a cloud. Perhaps nobody had been enticed to come to the festival.

Then I heard giggling, my heart sank and I was transported back to our school days. Jane and I spent most of our time giggling at things no one else would find funny. Adults on the bus or in the shops would glare at us and we would dissolve into further uncontrollable laughter. Happy days, but now I did not want to be the subject of amusement.

‘Ask her if Troy will ask you out.’

‘You ask her who you’re going to marry.’

‘Ask her if you will pass your GCSEs.’

‘…and exactly what grades we’ll get.’

The first girl to enter, or rather be shoved in by the other two, was underdressed in the skimpiest of clothes and I found myself tutting, was I turning into my mother?

‘Sit down and cross my palm with silver if you want me to look into the crystal ball.’

‘What… do you have to pay, have you got a card reader?’

This was not going according to plan, fortune telling was obviously much easier in the good old days.

‘Well my dear, as you are my first visitor I will grant you a free reading. Close your eyes and concentrate. Now I see something to do with your future. You will soon learn something that will be of great importance to the future direction of your life. It may not be what you expect, but it will lead to a good outcome eventually. Now send your friend in as I feel she needs to hear something important.’

She rushed out of the tent and jabbered excitedly to her friends.

‘It works, I’m going to get good GCSE results.’

The next girl’s expression was hard to read under the layers of make up. She offered me a fivepence piece, quite savvy then. I accepted it, after all I was only doing this for fun. I put my hands round the globe and closed my eyes.

‘Ah, oh dear. I see disappointment in friendship, but do not be disheartened, forge ahead with what you want to do in life and I see that one day you will meet someone very special.’

‘When, when?’

‘I cannot tell you that for sure, but it will be when you least expect. Now I must talk to your other friend. Three is a lucky number and three friends you will always be.’

I was beginning to enjoy my role as a dispenser of wisdom. The third girl was different, the quiet one no doubt. She looked as if she was likely to get excellent results for her exams, but never be asked out by the likes of Troy.  I warmed to her, was that me when I was her age? She proffered a fifty pence piece and I pretended to gaze intently into the crystal ball.

To my astonishment I could see pictures. My stomach contracted, did I really have powers? A girl who looked ill, poor, on a dark street, sleeping on the street, how did this happen? Was it her home life, or getting in with the wrong crowd, the wrong man. I glanced away and saw a worried expression on her face. I smiled reassuringly and forced myself to peer again. Now I saw a rainbow, was it just the sun beam filtering through the glass … the picture changed to a smart confident woman on a stage, at a lectern. Before I could see who she was addressing, the picture faded and in front of me was the ordinary glass ball again.

I took her hands. ‘You have a bright future, with lots of choices, as long as you do not waste opportunities. Keep only those friends that are true, stay true to yourself. Don’t be influenced by the crowd, you don’t need to be like everyone else.’

‘Oh, that’s rather deep, you must be real, not just dressing up for fun.’

‘Indeed I am. I hope you have all learned something important today.’

Tuesday Tiny Tale – Colour Consultant

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Christine Brown perused the local Facebook page; Colour Consultant, what was that supposed to be? Improve your well being by learning which are your colours, your special colour. Free consultation offer, today only, drop in at the Emporium. Why not, Christine had a free day and she had never been inside the emporium.

A feast of colour met her eyes as she walked through the door; fabrics, exotic clothes, cushions, occasional furniture and stunning rugs. How very different from the taupe walls and grey carpets at home. Why did she always agree to Geoffrey’s choice and demure to his supposed superior decorating skills?

Lindy DeSilver had her cosy consulting corner upstairs near the Tropical Jungle café. It looked like a cross between a tent and a grotto. Christine approached hesitantly, not sure if another customer might be hidden in the depths. A jangle of earrings heralded the appearance of Lindy at the entrance.

‘Yellow, yes definitely yellow, come in, come in.’

Wall hangings, mirrors and odd dangling objects adorned the interior which was larger than Christine had expected.

‘Sit down dear.’

Christine looked around for a chair, there were none. Lindy was pointing to a pile of cushions, sitting down on them was a lower drop than Christine was expecting and she found herself semi prone.

‘That’s it, make yourself at home. I see your life is lacking in colour.’

Christine’s sensible beige clothes were a bit of a giveaway she guessed, but no doubt Lindy said that to everyone, hoping for business.

‘Yellow is your prime colour and your band is citrus. Do you align with the Mediterranean, South America?’

‘Umm, more Rottingdean, though we sometimes venture up to Yorkshire.’ 

‘Sorry to hear that, but never mind, you don’t need to visit colourful places to raise your spirits. Look around the emporium, who would have guessed it used to be a Screwfix warehouse?’

‘My poor husband was very upset when they closed this branch, but I certainly prefer the emporium.’

‘I sense your husband is on the grey band, prime Warm Pewter?’

‘Dulux, how did you guess, at least that is what he is doing the feature wall in the living room at this very moment, polished pebble for the other walls.’

‘My dear, you have to get out of there or at least decide whether to change your décor or your husband.’

Christine was beginning to wonder if the woman was insane, or a mind reader and at which point she earned money.

‘This is all very interesting and you have inspired me to look around the emporium and perhaps buy a couple of scatter cushions.’

‘More drastic action is required, but don’t worry, that is where my skills come in. I can help you choose a new wardrobe and my interior design skills will then come to the fore. My total home makeover comes at a very reasonable price.’

Perhaps it was the fact that Geoffrey had a week’s golf holiday in Rottingdean or Christine’s pay rise, but somehow she found her life taken over by Lindy. In moments of sanity she wondered if there was a helpline for vulnerable beige people, but as the results of Lindy’s energetic plans became obvious Christine no longer felt beige, brown or grey, she felt invigorated. Nothing escaped Lindy’s attention and soon the neighbours and even the postman were paying attention.

Chris, what wonderful hanging baskets.

Love your yellow front door Mrs Brown.

I adore that dress Christine, I wish I had the confidence to wear colours like that.

Goodness, what will your Geoffrey say when he gets home?

‘I suspect he might be speechless, do you want to come in for a golden smoothie?’

Mr Tickle, what fun, and this room is so bright, how brave of you to choose yellow and that wallpaper on the feature wall reminds me of our wonderful trip to Peru. You must give me the name of your interior designer.

‘She’s very persuasive, I was just going to buy a couple of cushions and one of those talking sunflowers in a pot, then the next thing I knew… come and see our lime green bedroom.’

Seasonal Short Story – Music Festival

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Julian Mountjoy was on top of the world, or at least almost at the top of the Royal Albert Hall. At last his dream to be a BBC presenter at The Proms had come true. He could combine his two dearest interests, music and talking. In his eerie close to the gods he could look around the glorious plush red interior and the tiers of seating, then down at the tiny figures of the Prommers in the arena. With the first piece of music just finished there was time to chat with his two musician guests while the orchestra jiggled positions and the grand piano was carefully wheeled into place.

‘Ariadne, what did you think of that stunning premiere of John Smith’s Symphony in one movement for strings and mobile phones?’

‘I had thought five minutes would be a little short, but there was so much to take in, it was quite long enough.’

‘George?’

‘What an amazing sound picture, I felt… ’

‘Now let’s move on to the piece we are about to hear for the first time at the Proms. Composed in 1911 by Anton Slivervitz it is not often played, perhaps because of its reputation for being fiendishly difficult?’

‘Yes Julian, Slivervitz was famously polydactylous, having five fingers on each hand plus his thumbs. In addition, he was also unusually tall at six foot six, so he was blessed with long slender fingers.’

‘No wonder this piano concerto has always been such a challenge. Tonight’s soloist has waited till this mature stage of his career to add it to his repertoire and this will be the first time he has performed it in Britain. Ariadne, what do we know about Torvig Absalom?’

‘He has been acclaimed as the greatest pianist of his generation and is also a polymath, speaking half a dozen languages fluently and having a masters degree in physics. His upbringing and studies in different parts of the world have made him popular with many great orchestras and he brings his unique personality and energy to every piece.’

‘Well the piano is in place now, there is growing excitement and anticipation in the audience as we wait for Torvig Absalom to step onto the stage. The leader of the orchestra has taken up his position and played that all important note to lead the orchestra in tuning up. All the players will need to be on their toes for this marathon piano concerto that lasts one hour and twenty minutes. Now we wait for the conductor to lead tonight’s soloist onto the stage. The string section are turning their heads obviously expecting tonight’s young conductor, Melody Fairweather, to lead her guest soloist on at any moment. Excitement is building as we all wait for the grand entrance. Daisy Fairweather is making her first appearance at the Proms and this will be a thrilling moment in her career no doubt. We can imagine the excitement back stage as they prepare for their entrance. At rehearsals this afternoon you could see and hear the very special connection she has made with this world famous pianist. If tonight’s performance repeats the wonderfully energetic rehearsal, we are all in for a treat. As we wait for them to appear, Ariadne can you tell us what it’s like in those last moments as you wait for the go ahead to walk on stage and be greeted by the best audience in the world?’

‘Nervous and excited, however many times you have played in a prom. But Torvig is a such a natural performer he knows how to build the excitement, keeping the audience waiting just that little bit longer.’

Backstage at the Royal Albert Hall there was a very different kind of excitement and tension. Daisy Fairweather was getting very nervous with the delay, she just wanted to get on stage and raise her baton. The bossy woman who seemed to be in charge of the crew was also getting edgy.

‘Alison, are you sure you gave Mr Absalom his final call? Is the intercom working, did you knock on his dressing room door?’

‘Yes but he didn’t answer, maybe he got lost.’

‘Don’t be ridiculous and where’s Jerry, it’s his job to escort him so he doesn’t get lost, ah you’re here Jerry, where is Mr. Absalom?’

‘We seem to have lost him, he didn’t answer when I knocked so he must have slipped out.’

‘Alison go and check all the corridors and you too Ben. Jerry go and knock loudly and if he doesn’t answer open the door.’

‘The door was locked.’

‘I think we need to call security, we can’t keep the audience waiting or the BBC, this is a live television broadcast. Ben get hold of security, Jerry get yourself back to his dressing room and… and…’

‘And this is Julian Mountjoy live at the proms for this very special concert. There seems to be a delay bringing on tonight’s highly esteemed soloist… George, as an orchestra leader tell us what it is like as you wait for your conductor and soloist to step forward to the front of the stage…’

‘Jerry, there you are, what the hell is going on?’

‘I’m afraid it’s bad news.’

‘How bad?’

‘The worst, he’s… he’s dead.’

‘What do you mean, who’s dead?’

‘Mr Absalom, dead in his dressing room.’

Saturday Short Story 500 – Playing Jenga

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‘It’s on local radio now, as well as all the social media.’

Councillor Brian Blogs was beginning to wonder why he had been so keen to get elected, let alone becoming the leader of the council. His colleague Jaylene turned the radio up.

Locals are up in arms over the gigantic new art installation down on the sea front, apparently installed without any consultation. These were some of the comments.

I thought the council were broke.

Call it art, monstrosity.

Completely spoils my sea view.

Brian turned the radio off and proceeded with plan B. Go and see it for himself. Would the public believe the council had nothing to do with it? The two black monoliths were not there yesterday and this morning they were, set firmly in the ground …

‘Jaylene, call the police and um, do we have an engineering department? Could this thing be dangerous, topple over?’

Brian had to admit he was impressed. The monoliths stood close, an eerie silence emanating from them, amid the hub bub all around. Black with a strange glitter, interesting textures … his thoughts were interrupted when a microphone was shoved in his face.

‘Councillor Blogs, who came up with the idea for this very unusual structure?’

‘Absolutely no idea, this has nothing to do with the council, it has been illegally erected.  Our engineers will be examining how it can be removed safely and police will be investigating who put it there.’

‘Is it true that no one saw it arrive?’

‘CCTV footage shows nothing there one moment and the next moment it was there, as if it had appeared from outer space. I suggest our next move will be to get the UFO experts in.’

Brian was rather pleased with the result of his radio interview. All the UFO experts and other nutters had come out of the woodwork and taken interest away from the council. He was beginning to think they had the only logical explanations.

‘Time to put away your toys children, count the Jenga blocks to make sure none are missing.’

‘Daddy, two are missing, I bet it’s Yogo’s fault.’

‘Yogo, have you been throwing toys down the chute again? If those blocks have fallen out that will be another planet we can’t secretly visit.’

‘Daddy, you promised we could land, we’ve never been to a planet with water.’

‘If the inhabitants are clever they might already be tracking us, we can’t take the risk. Let’s see what data Mummy has found out.’

‘Mummy, Mummy are there any people on this one?’

‘Yes darling, just like us, except, except… they are very small, that explains how they fit so many on their little planet.’

‘How small, I promise to be careful.’

‘As small as your Lego figures. We would frighten them and that goes against the second convention.’

‘But I want my Jenga blocks back.’

‘Daddy, can we have some as pets.’

‘No, certainly not, that goes against the third convention. We do have an obligation not to leave litter so we will use electromagnetic extraction and hope no tiny humans are in the way.’

Silly Sunday – What, Where and Why?

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FRIDAY

SATURDAY

Meanwhile in the wider world I missed this tiny bit of news on Friday morning and wondered why a friend messaged saying ‘hope Microsoft gets fixed so you can order your carpet.’ I wondered whatsap on earth she was talking about. Thank goodness brunch with friends was not affected and fortunately they had heard what was happening, or rather, not happening around the world.

Meanwhile at the carpet shop one doesn’t need a computer to pick a carpet and they write in a book.

And luckily you could still get hydrated for free with an amazing new invention… a water fountain.

All the rain has been good for nomowing.

When ‘news items’ pop up on your computer do you get distracted from writing your blog? Am I the only person who hasn’t heard about these folk before?

’10-foot-tall people’ discovered by archaeologists in Nevada cave – Extraordinary human remains have been found in the US state of Nevada, with some of the skeletons measuring up to 10 feet tall. Alongside their jaw-dropping size, the bodies – some of which were said to have been mummified – were found to have had red hair.

Back to the present and what lies round the corner?

After a ride on that perhaps you had better go somewhere more relaxing.

Have you been affected by the big switch off or ten foot giants?

Tuesday Tale – Summer Getaway

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Florella was bored, very bored. Shopping was not the way to spend a sunny summer day. She was nine, too old to be stuck with her mother in the freezer aisle. Her mother was not even shopping, just gossiping with her friend. They could never go round the supermarket without meeting someone they knew, but suddenly an escape idea presented itself. Her mother would not even notice if she walked out of the shop.

Outside the sun was warm on her face and Florella’s arms began to thaw out after the cold of the freezer aisle. Her feet took on a direction of their own and propelled her down the road, down the lane and towards the park by the river. But as she approached, Florella thought she must have gone the wrong way. This was not the park. Caravans were parked beneath shady trees, there were patches of wonderful bright green grass where the sun reached. It was magical, where was she? The strange place, the adventure of really running away, made her brave enough to explore.

The grass was still wet after yesterday’s rain, but she did not care if she got her feet wet. Florella sauntered amongst the caravans. All the doors were closed except one. She wasn’t quite brave enough to look inside, but didn’t need to as a girl suddenly popped out.

‘Hello, what are you doing here girl, you don’t belong to the circus.’

‘Circus, what circus?’

‘You can’t have missed our big top!’

‘I was looking for the park and I found myself here.’

The girl put her finger to her lip and beckoned Florella to follow.  Sure enough, beyond the trees and caravans was an enormous tent. The girl led Florella to a small flap.

‘We’re not allowed in, they’re practising, one tiny peep.’

Florella looked at the jumble of people inside doing acrobatics, rolling over barrels and swinging on ropes. She was entranced, but felt a tight grip on her arm and found herself being dragged away. Her disappointment was brief as she found herself propelled into the girl’s caravan.

‘What’s your name girl and what were you up to sneaking round?’

‘Ella and I’ve run away.’

‘Oh so have me and my Dad, maybe you could join the circus, we’re leaving in three days, on the road again. Will you be my friend, I never have a chance to make friends as we have to keep moving, but it’s a good way to make sure no one finds us.’

‘What is your name and how old are you?’

 ‘I’m Magdalena, nine years old.’

Magdalena’s life sounded far more exciting than Florella’s, even the other girl’s name was exotic.

‘Same age as me. Actually my full name is Florella because I was adopted after they found me in a flower meadow,’

Florella did not usually tell lies, but then she didn’t usually run away to join a circus. The caravan was full of colourful costumes and all sorts of strange objects, hoops, skittles, trumpets…

‘Do you perform in the circus?’

‘Not yet, I have to learn, Dad’s going to teach me.’

Magdalena started showing Florella all the things that were called props and told her about clowns and girls standing three people high in a pyramid. Florella felt in a dream until voices shouting broke the spell.

‘Ella, Ella are you here, Florella are you here, your mother’s looking for you.’

Florella felt sick, who was looking for her, how had they found her? She stood up in panic, but Magdalena pushed her back down on a pile of costumes and pulled the door shut.

 ‘Shsh…they must not find us.’

No sooner had she spoken than the door was wrenched open and a man burst in. He had the angriest expression she had ever seen on a grown up’s face as he turned from Florella to Magdalena.

‘What the hell is going on Mags?’

‘Dad, it’s okay, she’s my friend.’

‘What have I told you about strangers, now she’s got the police onto us.’

Florella was really scared now, she hadn’t called the police and why was he so worried. The last she saw of her new friend was her being hauled out of the caravan by a pair of big tattooed arms. Trembling she peered out the door, but Magdalena and her father seemed to have vanished into thin air.

The voices were getting louder, men’s and women’s voices.

‘Florella Fenton are you okay, Ella call out if you’re here. No one’s cross with you. Over here Sarge, caravan.’

Ella tried to shut herself behind the caravan door, but a large hand grabbed it.

‘It’s okay, what’s your name?’  

Florella thought she probably should not lie to a policeman, nor did she want to get her new friend in trouble, she must think quickly.

‘Oh that’s a nice dog.’

‘He’s a clever dog, he found you quickly.’

‘I was not lost, I just came to have a look at the circus.’

‘That’s okay then, but you must tell me your name.’

‘Ella… Florella Fenton.’

‘Good girl, now did you meet anyone from the circus?’

‘No, NO..  I’m sorry I looked in someone’s caravan, will they be cross?’

‘Don’t worry, I’ll explain. Your mother will be here in a moment.’

Florella dared to look up and saw a group of annoyed looking people in strange costumes, they obviously were cross. A woman with bright red lipstick and a strange hairstyle stepped forward.

‘We don’t want trouble, we never seen her before, what’s she saying?’

‘Ella, have you met any of these people?’

Florella felt she had a brief chance before her mother arrived and no doubt she would be cross and spoil everything.

‘No, I’m sorry I trespassed, but can I join your circus?’

‘Do you think you might be a bit young to leave home, it’s not an easy life and you would have to help put up the tent.’

 Ella got the impression the other circus people were laughing at her and so were the police officers now gathered. Red lipstick woman came closer and stood in front of the policeman.

‘Free tickets for the girl and her family and your officers and you leave us in peace; every year we come and never had trouble.’

Florella thought it might be a good idea to see a circus in action before joining it and as she saw her mother approaching and tried to interpret the expression on her mother’s face, she hoped the free tickets would placate her.