’You don’t have to walk all the way back up, we can get the Noddy Train, but I thought you liked walking?’
John’s parents and his children all looked relieved.
‘We aren’t as young as we were and what with my knee and your father’s hip…’
‘And this bitter wind coming straight off the sea’ added John’s father.
‘Can we still have hot chocolate Daddy?’
‘That’s usually the bribery to get them back up to the café’ said John.
‘I think we all need hot chocolate,’ said his mother ‘I hope that café is still open.’
‘With marshmallows and cream?’ said Johnny Junior.
‘And a cake’ added his sister.
‘We must not spoil your appetites for that delicious dinner your Mummy is cooking for us.’
‘All that lovely sea air has sharpened our appetites’ said their grandfather, wrapping his scarf tighter.
Squeezed in one of the little carriages of the road train everyone brightened up and John’s mother recalled his favourite book.
‘I bought it at a jumble sale, The Runaway Train. I had to read it over and over to your Daddy. The train was meant to take all the office workers up to London on Monday morning, but the train was fed up with the same old journey every day and decided to go to the seaside instead. The passengers didn’t notice what was happening at first, too busy reading their newspapers. That was long before mobile phones were invented and everybody read great big newspapers. Then a few people looked at their watches, glanced out the window and wondered why they were seeing cows in the field instead of Clapham Junction! Soon all the passengers were muttering to each other as the train went faster and faster. The sky was blue, the sun was shining and they passed farms and cottages and hills. Nobody was sure what to do, one man pulled the communication cord with the notice that said emergency use only, but the train did not slow down.
‘Oh that would be fun,’ squealed the children ‘what happened in the end?’
‘Gradually the train slowed down and one of the passengers said Good Heavens, I can see the sea! Soon the train came to a halt in a lovely little station with flower tubs. Everyone got off to see what had happened and a very important and cross looking man marched along the platform to the driver’s cab, but there was no driver. They all stood on the platform scratching their heads and mumbling about getting to the office. Then someone started laughing and pointing to golden sands and the glittering sea… We will never get to work on time so let’s go to the beach instead.
Gradually they all wandered onto the beach and some took off their shoes, rolled up their trousers and started paddling, while others went to buy ice creams and fish and chips.
After a fantastic day, with everyone having fun and agreeing it was much better than going to work, they thought it must be time to go home. At the station the engine had turned itself around on the turntable and was steaming up so they got on board…’
‘Have you still got that book Daddy?’
‘No, that was a long time ago, but maybe that’s why I always wanted to live at the seaside and not work in an office.’
As the road train trundled up towards the café Johnny Junior said ‘Maybe this train is fed up with never going anywhere except back and forth to the beach, maybe it wants to go to London.’
They all laughed as the train drew up by the café and the driver climbed out of his cab to see if anyone needed help getting out. But before John had even opened the door of their carriage, the train started moving again, faster and faster. The last thing the family saw was a surprised look on the driver’s face as he tried to run after the train, but it was going much too fast.
‘Hurrah said,’ Johnny Junior ‘I told you the train was fed up, we’re going on an adventure.’
‘Can’t you do something John.’
‘Don’t worry mother, just a technical hitch, the battery will run down soon and the driver will have called for a mechanic.’
‘When can I have my hot chocolate Daddy?’
They drove down a pleasant avenue with pretty gardens and a few people waved to them. The children waved back. Then the Noddy Train turned right onto a busy road on a steep hill. As the train headed downhill they went faster and faster. Horns were tooting and they heard a siren in the distance. Even little Johnny was beginning to feel scared.
‘And finally tonight police are still searching for a seaside road train, known locally as the Noddy Train and apparently hijacked from a local beauty spot. Our reporter spoke to the shocked driver.’
‘I had just alighted from the train to help a disabled passenger disembark when it started moving. I had left the brakes on, it was on level ground and nobody had got into my cab. I tried to get back to my cab, but it was going much faster than it is capable of. None of this makes sense. Not a single passenger had managed to alight.’
‘Can you reassure family and friends that the passengers will be safe?’
‘No.’
‘Hmm, back to the newsroom to see if there is any update.’
‘The last sighting was junction 67 of the motorway an hour ago. Police are sure there will be drivers who have captured images on their dash cams. In the meantime there is a helpline if you are worried about relatives who may be on board.’
‘It’s on local radio now, as well as all the social media.’
Councillor Brian Blogs was beginning to wonder why he had been so keen to get elected, let alone becoming the leader of the council. His colleague Jaylene turned the radio up.
Locals are up in arms over the gigantic new art installation down on the sea front, apparently installed without any consultation. These were some of the comments.
I thought the council were broke.
Call it art, monstrosity.
Completely spoils my sea view.
Brian turned the radio off and proceeded with plan B. Go and see it for himself. Would the public believe the council had nothing to do with it? The two black monoliths were not there yesterday and this morning they were, set firmly in the ground …
‘Jaylene, call the police and um, do we have an engineering department? Could this thing be dangerous, topple over?’
Brian had to admit he was impressed. The monoliths stood close, an eerie silence emanating from them, amid the hub bub all around. Black with a strange glitter, interesting textures … his thoughts were interrupted when a microphone was shoved in his face.
‘Councillor Blogs, who came up with the idea for this very unusual structure?’
‘Absolutely no idea, this has nothing to do with the council, it has been illegally erected. Our engineers will be examining how it can be removed safely and police will be investigating who put it there.’
‘Is it true that no one saw it arrive?’
‘CCTV footage shows nothing there one moment and the next moment it was there, as if it had appeared from outer space. I suggest our next move will be to get the UFO experts in.’
Brian was rather pleased with the result of his radio interview. All the UFO experts and other nutters had come out of the woodwork and taken interest away from the council. He was beginning to think they had the only logical explanations.
‘Time to put away your toys children, count the Jenga blocks to make sure none are missing.’
‘Daddy, two are missing, I bet it’s Yogo’s fault.’
‘Yogo, have you been throwing toys down the chute again? If those blocks have fallen out that will be another planet we can’t secretly visit.’
‘Daddy, you promised we could land, we’ve never been to a planet with water.’
‘If the inhabitants are clever they might already be tracking us, we can’t take the risk. Let’s see what data Mummy has found out.’
‘Mummy, Mummy are there any people on this one?’
‘Yes darling, just like us, except, except… they are very small, that explains how they fit so many on their little planet.’
‘How small, I promise to be careful.’
‘As small as your Lego figures. We would frighten them and that goes against the second convention.’
‘But I want my Jenga blocks back.’
‘Daddy, can we have some as pets.’
‘No, certainly not, that goes against the third convention. We do have an obligation not to leave litter so we will use electromagnetic extraction and hope no tiny humans are in the way.’
Meanwhile in the wider world I missed this tiny bit of news on Friday morning and wondered why a friend messaged saying ‘hope Microsoft gets fixed so you can order your carpet.’ I wondered whatsap on earth she was talking about. Thank goodness brunch with friends was not affected and fortunately they had heard what was happening, or rather, not happening around the world.
Meanwhile at the carpet shop one doesn’t need a computer to pick a carpet and they write in a book.
And luckily you could still get hydrated for free with an amazing new invention… a water fountain.
All the rain has been good for nomowing.
When ‘news items’ pop up on your computer do you get distracted from writing your blog? Am I theonly person who hasn’t heard about these folk before?
’10-foot-tall people’ discovered by archaeologists in Nevada cave – Extraordinary human remains have been found in the US state of Nevada, with some of the skeletons measuring up to 10 feet tall. Alongside their jaw-dropping size, the bodies – some of which were said to have been mummified – were found to have had red hair.
Back to the present and what lies round the corner?
After a ride on that perhaps you had better go somewhere more relaxing.
Have you been affected by the big switch off or ten foot giants?
Catch up with what is happening where you are or aren’t…
Which of these will steal your lunch?
Is this the smallest waiting room in the country?
New report on the dark side of toy rabbit life.
DIY ideas
Increasing numbers of home owners are putting their houses in light bulbs.
Enjoy a sunny trip to the seaside
But make sure you obey all the rules
A support group has been started for readers who never manage to complete the weekend puzzles in their favourite newspaper.The founder of the group said ‘People don’t realise what a devastating effect this is having on lives.‘
Where do you like to shop? Why not visit the popular Vintage Quarter?
Or follow Doctor Who to his favourite shopping location.
How has your week been? Have you been anywhere interesting?
‘Have you found a job yet Joel? You’re not going to lounge around this house till university starts.’
‘Nothing wrong with winding down and actually I am going for a job interview this afternoon down at the sea front.’
‘Good… lifesaver, beach warden or are you going to serve at that new Sandbourne Seafront Diner?’
‘Nope, going on the big wheel.’
‘But you hate heights!’
‘I don’t have to go on it, just sit in the box taking the money.’
‘Was that the best job you could find?’
‘Yup.’
Joel was successful at the job interview, especially as no one else had applied and he was enjoying his first day. He soon discovered he had a good way with the customers, or passengers as they were supposed to call them. Kev was impressed with the steady flow of people lining up to be inserted safely by him into the Flying Pods. Joel had a reassuring manner.
You tell your Gran there’s nothing to be scared of, all the grannies go up and love the view out to sea.
No, your Dad was kidding when he said you have to climb up that high ladder to get on. You just have to wait for an empty pod to come round to the platform.
Of course it is safe, did you ever hear of a big wheel toppling over?
I assure you it never gets stuck, it’s never come to a halt all the time I’ve been working here.
The morning went quickly, but then Joel noticed his orderly queue had come to a halt and a small crowd was gathering and looking up. At that moment Kev came rushing to Joel’s box.
‘Don’t sell any more tickets just now, bit of a hold up.’
‘All the pods full?’
‘Yes unfortunately, the wheel’s stuck.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Stuck as in won’t go round.’
Joel thought of the nervous aunties and scared little kids he had urged on board, knowing he would never go in a pod himself.
‘So what happens next?’
‘Axel sorts it out.’
‘Where is he then?’
‘Away on a safety course in Wales.’
‘Do you know what to do?’
‘No, I only do the buttons on the ground, I’m not allowed up the ladder as I get vertigo.’
Joel thought of his science A levels and the mechanical engineering course awaiting him at Cambridge University, somehow that did not seem as if it would help this situation.
‘So we call the fire brigade then.’
‘NO… boss would kill us, we don’t want to lose our licence.’
‘Where is the boss?’
‘Goodness knows, I think he was on a bender last night. Anyway, I think I remember what Axel does, he takes a heavy spanner to the top of the wheel, it’s always at the top that a pod gets jammed. Axel is very set on safety, so you must clip the safety harness on to each rung as you go up.’
‘I can’t go up!’
‘Well there’s no one else.’
‘I thought Joel would have been home by now… what did you say John… local news… hang on I’m coming… Oh goodness, Coastguard helicopter hovering over the wheel and all those fire engines and it looks like someone’s stuck on the outside. Good thing our Joel only works in the ticket box. He’ll be sorry to have missed all that excitement if he was already on his way home.’
