Sunday Surprises…

~ tidalscribe.com

I have not been tested yet, but I am having to come to terms with the fact that I may be neurotypical. I had not even heard the term before a speaker at a writers’ festival apologised for being one hundred percent neurotypical. Hopefully I’m not at the top of the range. Nobody in my family is neurotypical so I do not understand why this has happened to me. Perhaps it explains why the world around me seems to be descending into madness. At least I could now have a career as a stand up comedian, their routines always come round to revealing they have been diagnosed with some kind of syndrome.

So now with your help I must try and make sense of what is happening in other people’s lives.

If you were the First Minister of Scotland and leader of the Scottish National Party and your husband was arrested for embezzlement from the party you both served, would you have been totally shocked with no idea anything was wrong? Huge amounts of money that came from loyal supporters who wanted an independent Scotland. Not billions, but well over £400, 000 is a lot to disappear without  ANYBODY noticing.

What Peter Murrell bought is what has been most entertaining for the public and a welcome break from darker news. Everything from up market coffee machines to a camper van.

Now I can understand Nicola Sturgeon’s claims that two adults with good salaries would have separate bank accounts and be independent and as a busy career woman she could expect her husband to run the house and the domestic budget. Those of us who had one joint account and a very tight budget can still imagine the scenario.  But the camper van? What wife would not expect that to be a joint purchase with fun discussions about future holidays? What mother would not be surprised to wake up and find a camper van in her driveway? Did Murrell mention it to his mother? Picture the scene with the neighbours…

‘Och how lovely dearie, is your wee Petie goin to take you on a trip up to the highlands?’

Or perhaps other neighbours would not be so happy for her.

‘Hey Hen, whit the **** is that monster vehicle doing blocking the sunlight from oor hoose?’

Perhaps the whole nation should be grateful he was arrested before he made more bizarre purchases.

South American drug lord Pablo Escobar made the original unwise purchase of four hippos for his private estate in the 1980s, making Columbia the only country outside the African continent with a wild hippo population.

Now the two hundred splendid beasts face a cull, but Indian magnate Anant Ambani has offered to rescue eighty of the two hundred and rehome them in his rescue centre. Imagine if Murrell had offered to rescue the remainder?

Have you ever made a mad purchase you regretted? I won’t ask if you have ever been tempted to embezzle…

36 thoughts on “Sunday Surprises…”

  1. Can’t say I’ve ever been tempted to embezzle – but then I’ve never held the purse strings of someone else’s pot of gold, so the opportunity never presented itself. And, farming rhinos has never been an ambition of mine, either. So I think I’m safe from prosecution on both those counts.

    I think the nearest I’ve come to a mad purchase was when I bought my second car. It was a Ford Fiesta 1300S, the sporty model. Bright yellow paintwork and a black ‘go-faster’ stripe. I didn’t regret it, though. It was an absolute joy to drive.

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  2. I bought a condominium with my inheritance from my Mom. It made the lives of seven people better and probably saved my marriage but made a mess with my finances and is a major and stressful time suck for me. Flooding in the Condo in January of 2024 is not yet resolved (the ceilings are still torn up and it would sell for a huge loss if it were even possible to sell). I keep reading books like Solito and maid (by Stephanie Land) to remind myself how very lucky I actually am!

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    1. I had to look up Solito. Yes that is an amazing life. At Bournemouth Writing festival we met a Peruvian lady who had escaped her family of drug barons at the age of nine and somehow ended up eventually in England. I can’t imagine my grandsons traveling anywhere without their menagerie of cuddly toys, let alone by themselves.
      Property always comes with far heftier maintenance and problems than you imagine.

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  3. I always remember the things I SHOULD have bought…you know: Apple stock at $4 is a god place to begin…your story just points out how corrupt so much of our politicians are. Sad…

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  5. Hi Janet, I didn’t not know this piece of news and am shocked. Does this world wide corruption have no end. The British have always been upstanding examples of morals and ethics to the world. Now I’m sad despite your amusing post.

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  9. Wee Jimmy Krankie is lying through her teeth. Four top of the range coffee machines in the house, and she never went into the kitchen and wondered why they were there? A motorhome the size of my bungalow and she failed to notice it parked outside her mother-in-law’s house? She should be ashamed of herself.

    Best wishes, Pete.

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    1. I am still trying to imagine what Mrs Murrell senior made of it all! Perhaps she was delighted when her son presented her with a coffee machine, but that would still leave three machines to be found homes.

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  10. I do find it hard to comprehend a wife not questioning where a hugely expensive motorhome came from!

    Mark and I discussed the purchase of our Beast. Thankfully, we’re both as daft as each other, so buying a 24.5-tonne truck blind off the internet was a joint decision. And we haven’t regretted it for a moment.

    My husband noticed my latest rash purchase. He came back from the supermarket and I had to admit, “I’ve just bought a 1970 Bomb Disposal Morris Minor Traveller (the one with a wooden back!)”

    I bought it with money left to me by my wonderful dad, Jim. Which is why my new acquisition is named Jim Morrisvan. I just collected Jim last week and he is soooo much fun! Absolutely NO regrets 🙂

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  12. I have never been tempted to embezzle despite being treasurer of a couple of organisations over the years as neither had enough in the kitty to make it worth my while. And I have rarely had enough in my own bank account to allow for silly purchases. Do you think we should start a self-help group for all us sensible, law abiding, risk-averse neurotypical people?

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  13. I have seen some interesting budget loopholes in my career and was not impressed… of course they were rather noticeable when I took over the budgets and plugged the holes although I did receive some rather threatening phone calls. I have a big issue with the lack of transparency on spending particularly with local councils and if I was in charge and able to do so I would abolish all local and county councils and in their place put a board of directors and treat the city as a business. Accounts to be ordered, expense accounts audited and published end of year accounts in full. The same should apply to all political parties. I doubt I would get elected lol.. And of course she knew! ♥

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  14. As you might have guessed, I’m on long overdue ‘catch-up’ duty with emails, having just blocked and reported more than 200 odd junk ones. If I’d succumbed, signed up or followed through on some I’m sure I would have become the subject of embezzlement. This doesn’t include the hippos, obviously. 😀

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