Happy Febmas everyone, how long is it since we were all together? Are you glad to be back in the country Danny, back to civilisation?

Is that what you call it? Thank goodness I renewed my contract.

But I thought…

I don’t know how you live with your conscience, raking in all that money in a repressive regime while their citizens suffer.

Ahhem how was your holiday Lydia?

Remind me not to listen to Charles next time he suggests an adventure holiday. I’ve never been so cold in my life.

What did you expect at base camp darling?

For the money we paid, a lot more than a frozen solid tent.

Some of us can’t even afford a holiday to Bognor, mortgage and buying food…

You’ll be glad in the long run son, your mother and I never had a penny to spend on ourselves.

But you were happy ha ha…

Yes we were, we had fun with you all when you were young and you never went hungry like those poor families on television.

Humm, they just need to get a job and learn to cook proper meals like Mum did.

Not that simple Danny.

Let’s dwell on more cheerful things. Isn’t Jodie’s news wonderful.

What news?

The baby of course.

 BABY!

I thought you knew, Danny.

Obviously not. How on earth did that happen? I thought you were with Annya?

I am.

Baby? I thought Jodie was a, you know, is she better now, got herself married?

Oh are you awake Aunty?

I thought you said Aunty Mable had no idea what’s been going on for the last five years.

Ssh, she has moments of lucidity.

Usually at the worst moment.

Annya and I really wanted to have a baby.

 Don’t you need a chap for that, or did you get an anonymous donor?

Remember Joseph at school? He’s been wonderful and so thrilled to get the chance to be a father.

At last we get to be grandparents.

Not actually biological grandparents, but it will be just like the real thing.

What do you mean?

We used Annya’ egg, she couldn’t mess around being pregnant with her work.

My Arthur wasn’t up to it, that’s why we didn’t have children.

Oh Aunty that’s sad, did you want them?

Always used to blame the woman in those days, no such thing as low sperm count then. Though in our case Arthur just wasn’t interested in that sort of thing.

Wel, well family secrets coming out. Was he gay?

How should I know, we didn’t talk about that stuff.

Anyway, nothing wrong with my sperm count, but Avril and I have made a conscious decision not to have brats and I can’t think why Jodie would go to all that trouble to have one.

I didn’t expect any support from you Danny, after all, you did break the leg off my baby doll, that’s why I didn’t bother telling you.

You always bring that up, it was an accident.

No it wasn’t, you were always breaking our toys.

And stealing my Lego.

What about you Scot, are you still seeing Kamala, we thought you might have invited her here.

No, yes, I mean yes Kamala and I are an item and no I didn’t invite her as I didn’t want to put her through this. I knew exactly what it would be like.